A
female
age
41-50,
*raviesagemini
writes:My exboyfriend and I separated, it was not on good terms either, but it was an on off relationsip so I wasn't concerned as I thought this was for the best. However three months later I found out I was pregnant with his child. He does not care for it has not answered my calls and will only text to be hurtful. I do not want him back, but I want him to be there for our child. Have any women out there gone through a similar experience. I would never think about having an abortion I am not the first single mother nor will I be the last. Even though the dad is reacting very negatively I feel the child is not at fault. Is there any chance that once the child is born he'll have a change of heart. I'm not hoping that the baby will change him but is there a possibility that once he sees the baby he will change his negative attitude.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): Only his family can encourage him to see the child. Wait until his mum finds out and there will be arguments between her and him to know the child. His mum will detest you for doing this to her son, because she is naturally closer to her kin, as your parents are with you. Ups and downs in the relationship wont stop at a child. He would be there for the child on his own terms, and unable to be concerning of your concerns as he has no more love for you. The child will be in the middle of arguments. This would mean there is a high risk at teenage-hood, the child would have delinquency problems. Problems between your child and yourself will result if you don't have a good relationship with your parents, such as mother. A lot depends on the attitude of the mans family. Did you both share the same values? What were you both disagreeing over. Because you will now have a confused child in the middle of it and the child will rise to have their say and they often become wacked back down. So far, his attitude is I blame you whether he's fair or not, and being scorned, you have a fight on your hands. He will get you. If he appears, the grandparents will end up having the child. If he doesn't you have an unhappy child.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): Ms. traviesagemini,How many times are you going to post this same topic honey?The Aunts and Uncles have already gave you the advice that they have, but they or no one else can change your situation. I am sorry that you're dealing with this and I could only imagine how you feel, but what else do you want us to say? Please, if you need professional counseling to help you cope: then get it, but that cannot be substituted here. You have a family I suggest you go and be with them, talk to them, I am pretty sure they can be of greater help to you: that's what family is for. And for the last time:you cannot MAKE your ex be apart of this babys life, all you can do now is take him to court for child support. First Post:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/pregant-with-my-exs-child-do-i-keep.html
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A
female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (14 August 2009):
I can hear that you would like for him to accept the child. Right now he is so angry with you for dumping him he is taking his anger out on the child which is never good, He should be ashamed what you have to do is stop looking for him to man up because he probably won't for awhile. I don't recommend that you have your child be around him as long as he is this angry I can imagine the things he say's to you. Just make sure your child has a father figure in his life and he will be fine. Until he supports his baby fully and is willing to come by and help out and be a parent I wouldn't hold out much hope. See a child doesn't make all men grow up and it will take him awhile to see the error of his ways. I don't think he is upset about the baby but that he upset about not having you. First talk to him and try to give him a chance to step up and if he doesn't then file for support and move on to getting your baby in a happy house because as a mother that is what it is all about. You have to be a mother first and his ex girlfriend second all you can do is stay stress free and let him act out like a child, good luck mom.
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