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I don't understand what he wants!

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 April 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi there everyone...

I would really appreciate your advice as am feeling rather confused.

About 5 months ago i met a guy *Dan a week after spliting up with my boyfriend *Ryan. We both fell pretty strong i think, it was quite an intense connection that we had...and he said he had been waiting a very long time to meet a girl like me.I saw him everyday for a while.

Then i found out that he lived with his ex girlfriend as 'best friends', and I wasnt allowed to go to the flat. I decided I couldn't cope with him being best friends with his ex, although he reassured me they were just friends.

I then decided to give it another go with my ex, as I thought I still had feelings for him. Dan was quite upset at this.

When i got back with Ryan i realised I didnt love him, i was constantly thinking about Dan.

I bumped into Dans ex in town. She told me that she still loved him a lot, but that he liked me and not to find her a threat.

I finished with Ryan and started seeing Dan again but felt it wasnt the same.

I told him I was unsure about us and to my surprise he got back with his ex-girlfriend, even though he had told me they were just friends!!!

I was really upset, but cut all contact with him.

Last night I bumped into him in town and he was quite drunk. He told me he really missed me, said he was so close to telling me he was falling in love with me when we were together, and that if he knew that we could stay together he would drop everything. He said he didnt like his girlfriend..he liked me.

He then text me apologising the next day and said he was glad we were now civil...I text back saying I cant stop thinking about u.. and he replied saying' i know what u mean.

I dont understand what he wants, whether he is just playing games. I cant stop thinking about him now and its driving me insane :( I dont want his girlfriend to get hurt, but if we both have these strong feelings i feel we should give it another go. Im not sure if he has any intention of leaving his ex :(

x x x

View related questions: best friend, drunk, ex girlfriend, his ex, my ex, text

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A female reader, ADIDI Nigeria +, writes (5 April 2010):

ADIDI agony auntHelo if trully he says he's in love with u,then tell him to introduce u to his ex as his girlfriend and stop play hide and seek if he has seen his true love.Also tel him to vacate his ex's house and find accomodation some where u'l be free to visit him anytime.If he doesn't do any of this then he wants to play on you,so be wise and shine ur eye dear

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A female reader, Tasmanian devil United Kingdom +, writes (5 April 2010):

Tasmanian devil agony auntHe probably was just upset with the fact you dumped him and got back with your ex so he did the same. His ex told u not to see her as a threat, i think deep down she knows its a rebound thing and is just clutching at straws. The truth comes out when people are drunk, there defences are weakened. Just go for it, you both are clearly into each other, why waste any more time? Why don't you talk to him about it, only he can give you an answer about everything including the ex issue.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (5 April 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt He wants to eat his cake and keep it too. A dead giveaway was when he told you he was living with his ex as friends yet you were not allowed to visit there. Why ?

As a matter of fact, at some point in my life I shared an apartment with an ex boyfriend, just as housemates. But the break had happened 8 years before, after all this time we were really just friends and very comfortable around each other- and everybody's love interests ( mine and his ) were welcome to visit. Because nobody's feelings were going to get hurt.

It may be true that he was close to fall in love with you, or to ask you to be together, or whatever, but he did not. He missed his train. Too bad for him.

It does not sound like his gf is gonna be out of the pic any time soon- are you sure you want to share her lover ?

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