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I don't trust my daughters boyfriend

Tagged as: Family, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 April 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Can any off you Aunts and Uncles please give me some understanding of this.

My Daughter has being with her boyfriend for the last 15 month. He is 7 year older than her, has a good job, still lives with his grandparents. He lives no more that a 3 minute walk form where we live. He comes to our house,stays over night we make him welcome.

My daughter has never met his family (they do know about her) and we live in a small village where everyone knows everyone. He only asks her to his house when then there is no one there and if she stays there he has her back home before 8 o clock the next morning. She says it does not bother her as he doesnt have the nicest of family. She has being on a rollercoaster of a relationship with him and even went to see a counsellor through him...who told her to get out of it!

I dont trust this guy I always have a gut feeling about him. He is arrogant, can be controlling at times with her, lies to her, makes her feel insecure and yet she hangs in there with him. I try and keep out of it as much as I can and I am always there for her when things go wrong. This guy is a bit of a loner and secrative about his life. He isnt married or has been or has any children. Does anyone else think my gut feeling is right about him?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2012):

I opened this expecting some letter from a paranoid mother.

But you're very on level and it seems you haven't even really voiced your concerns to your daughter (as well as you are welcoming her boyfriend....)

If that's the case and your relationship with your daughter is good, I would find somewhere OUTSIDE the house to go sit down. First try asking more questions than sharing your own feelings. Is she happy? How does he make her feel? What does she like about him?

After you get some of her perspective, tell her how you feel.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 April 2012):

Honeypie agony auntMaybe sit her down and talk to her about your concerns, but try not to sounds like you are attacking her "taste" or her BF because all she will do is become defensive and want to "prove" you wrong (which means she will do anything to stay with him).

How old is she ?

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