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I don't trust my boyfriend and I wait for the next bad thing to happen

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 October 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 February 2011)
A female Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend messed me about a bit for the first half of our two year relationship [he met up with his ex behind my back, he flirted with other girls and was just generally not appropriate for a guy in a relationship]. Now he's behaving but my trust is low. I literally sit and wait for the next bad thing to occur. He says he knows it's his fault that I find it hard to trust him. I do love him so much though. What do I do?

View related questions: flirt, his ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011):

Your story sounds very similar to mine, but mine happened about 4 years ago.. I am still with him and for all this time I've been feeling exactly how you do, I find it very hard to completely trust him.. but I do love him. We've been together for almost 7 years now.

I thought about leaving a few times, but then I always tell myself.. the next guy will probably do the same thing anyway. It's one of the reasons why I stayed.. because he knows he hurt me and I believe he feels terrible for what he did, terrible enough that it wont happen again. When I met him I always thought he was a good guy. But we should all know by now that nobody's perfect. Eventually, at one point in our lives we make a wrong choice, what matters is what we do with the consequences.

I hope you come to a decision that will make the both of you happy. People may have similar experiences but there will always be something a little different about each one.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010):

My boyfriend was the exact same at the start of our 2 year relationship. He cheated on me and messed me around something shocking. He texted other girls, picked them up etc. Iv told him many times that I dont trust him and that I wish things were different between us. I mean a relationship is built on trust and honesty, this is what keeps a relationship going. I always got paranoid and depressed when he was out without me and it got that bad I had to tell him I needed a break. Still to this day I dont trust him and I wish I could. It's up to you what you want to do, wether you want to stay with him and try work things out, or move on and find someone who will respect and treat you the way you want to be treated. I no its hard coming out of a 2 year realtionship because you love the person that much. But sometimes its for the best and you never know you might be a happier person when you do? Just do what your heart tells you :) 3 good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010):

Well of course you don't have any trust for him because he broken your trust. But sometimes it's okay to let that wall down again. If you love him and want to be with him, you will have to give him a second chance. A relationship can't work if there is trust issues. Just try to trust him and if he screws up agian then maybe it's best you move on.

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