A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:When I was younger, my father had excessive or uncontrollable anger. He would lose his temper a lot and start yelling at my mother, brother and/or me. My mom gave him a choice of going to anger management or my mom was going to divorce him. My dad went and has not shown any uncontrollable anger in the past 10 years.Now I am married and have a son. I do not want to leave my son alone with my dad for one second. I know my dad is not the same person he used to be, and I know his anger problems are in the past. The problem is even through he fix his problems, the past still happen. My whole family has forgave him for his uncontrollable anger, but I am not willing to trust him with my son.Even through he learn to control his anger and went to treatment, am I wrong for not trusting with my son?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010): You are a mommy now, and have the right to decide how to raise your son. I once told my mom "I'm sorry, but I can't be a daughter and a mother at the same time, I have to choose." I chose to be a mom. You are doing what you feel is best for your child. Who can argue that? Your title says it all.
Maybe you could visit your dad with your son, instead of sending the baby alone. Eventually maybe you will decide that you trust your dad. I don't think you are overreacting, I think you are remembering your past and envisioning your son going through the same torment.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 Maybe you are being too overprotective,
Ten years is a long time and if your father has not had any anger outburst in the last 10 yeara it is reasonable to assume that he overcome his problem.
Said that, you are the mom ,and you call the shots. You get to decide whom you want to leave your chil with or not . If you cannot bring yourself to trust your father, do not force yourself just in order to please other members of the family.
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