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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for two years on/off and we have had our fair share of ups and downs. I do love him and I know he loves me, but he is starting to change.He smokes cannabis (which I dont agree with) on a regular basis and I sometimes feel that is more important to him than I am. He is becoming quite overprotective as well, moaning if I test other boys in a flirty way. My boyfriend has a bit of a reputation for being a big flirt and I have to admit I don't totally trust him. Are we meant to be or not?
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (27 March 2005):
 Well, I don't know! It seems you have a rather insecure relationship in that you don't entirely trust each other. Why are you flirting with other guys? Because he has a reputation for being flirtatious? To grab his attention because it seems he prefers to smoke than be with you? Whatever the situation, I think you need to sit down and talk to him about all this. Explain how you feel about him changing. Say that you feel his smoking cannabis is more important to him than you are and that makes you feel unhappy. Explain to him why you have been flirting with other guys and that you want to be able to trust him also and that you aren't sure if you can.You say you love each other but being in a relationship should involve committment on both sides and also the ability to communicate effectively does help the relationship when things get a bit tough. If you don't talk, resentment has a habit of building and causing further problems.To find out if you are meant to be, talk to him about this today.Good luck.
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