A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im a 21 year old catholic girl in love with a hindu boy of the same age. sweet n short.. the problem is religion. although we have been in this relationship for 1yr and his folks knew about it they were cool. they even accepted. but my parents don yet know a thing. they know we are friends thats it. today evening my bf lands up telling me his parents want me to tell mine that we are goin out. coming from a catholic background its difficulte to get me parents understand. we had planned befor that once we earn we can tell our parents and than c the future. it makes no difference to me as im not a very religious person.i dont have a job yet. and i dont wana tell my parents now itself. how do i make my bf n his parents understand that its not the right time to tell my parents??????? plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz help Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (23 September 2013):
 "We agreed that we would tell my parents when I have a job. I don't have a job yet. Why are you insisting on telling my parents?" Ask him.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (23 September 2013):
 I hate to post again before the OP responds. I'll try to be brief. Yes a Catholic family may decide to disown over this. Especially if this is an oldest child or only child. I have to say that this is a mistake on the part of the parents as SVC has illustrated. OP is obviously worried about this as she needs a steady income before she tells her parents, so she can easily move away. I really don't like this thinking. I do like the idea of going to them and trying to make it work out.
"Why are his parents telling what to do?" Simple they are Adults and they see a dangerous situation. They feel the need to advise, just like I am doing.
FA
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 September 2013):
 my son was dating a girl of a different faith and when his father and step mother found out they forced him at 22 to break up with her. He has never forgiven them.
He no longer speaks to his father and step mother at all.
Essentially they have told him if he does not date a girl of our faith he is not welcome in their home nor do they wish to know about it. I feel bad for them and for him.
He made the choice to live his life to please himself.
Now at 27 he is dating a young lady who is not of our faith. He will not tell his dad.
Be prepared when you tell them that they will disown you or force you to end the relationship, or if you wish to continue it you may have to move out...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2013): EBay are his parents telling what to do?? This is your family and you deal with them the way you see fit. If you was speaking about becoming engaged then yes you should tell them but I do thing this is your destion
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (23 September 2013):
I know I'm a parent, so My answer to this question is going to sound like a parent's point of view without any consideration for your relationship with this young man. I assure you that my advice is for your relationship with this man and not for your relationship with your parents. Not that your relationship with your parents isn't important, it is important. So stick with me through the whole answer please.
His parents are giving you very good advice. You don't want to accept it because you are afraid. Fear is not a good place to make decisions from. My experience with Hindu people is that they are generally very flexible in their thinking. They will accept your decision but are giving you their best advice because they want you to be happy.
Second Whenever a young person says that their parents don't know a thing or believe that their kids are just friends, I just smile and cough a little. You do realize that we were once your age. We know what we did. We can see the signs. Give your parents some credit, They know more than you think. They are giving you the courtesy of picking your own time to tell them, but they won't wait much longer.
Why it really is the right time. You want to approach the telling from a position of strength so your parents will have less to threaten you with. They will always be your parents. No matter how much money you have you will still be their daughter. Next reason, People are hurt by the lies you tell them not by the truth. The longer you wait the more you will lie. The less you lie the less you hurt them. Your parents want to help you, let them.
Much of your happiness in life will come from family. Try not to break all those ties when you are just starting out. The romantic notion of running away to escape the traditions doesn't work in practice. We have a problem in my sub-culture of men bringing home wives from other countries. They are truly in love and try so hard to make a good life for each other but the added stress of her homesickness and missing her mother and sisters tears at their marriages. Based on that experience I think you should be working to get your parents on your side. In other words His parents are right your long term happiness will not be made on a foundation of lies and deception. A marriage between two Faiths is hard enough. Take all the help you can get.
FA
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