A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey, im in a long distance relationship with a girl for a few months. We just recently met again.Relationship itself is going fine sofar. Last week she went out with her colleagues. She wrote me in the night that she got home safe.The next morning she send me a Selfie of her were you barely could see any of the background.What stung out to me in the picture was that the bathroom tiles have a Different colour(brown vs White) then at her home.I asked her then if she is at home to which she responded yes. After a bit more discuisson I said it doesnt look like her bathroom to which she responded, if you dont trust me we should stop the relationship, "im to old to waste my time in a relationship with no trust" and so on. What do you guys think? Im 90% sure it isnt her bathroom were the picture is from. Any advise?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2023): Hey, OP Here
thanks for your response.
We have meet allready in person a couple of times for longer periods (I visited her, she visited me etc.). We have planned allready to visit each other in the next upcoming months for a longer period of times (2-3months).
Moving together is also in talks for the upcoming year, so the LDR (currently 4 flight hours) is not for ever.
Sofar she was always honest with me, and I never had a doubt or any trust issues whatsoever. We both said trust and honesty is the most important for us. She also always critized the people in her surroundings who cheated on her partners (like family members of her). And she insured me she would always tell me if anything in that regard happens (same for me)
Its just the selfie she send me in the morning where she said she took it at home in the bathroom which made me doubt.
Thank you!
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 August 2023):
 What do I think?
I think having an LDR is quite often a waste of time.
I'm not against them, my hubby and I were in one and we have been together for over 25 years now.
But without trust, you have nothing.
If you are that sure she is lying, why do you think she is lying? Because she spends the night at a dude's house, correct?
If you think that she COULD/WOULD do that is she even right for you?
I agree with her that IF you don't trust her, you should end it.
Have you guys met in person? If not how do you know your values match hers? How do you even know she is single?
If you have never met, you don't have a relationship per se, you are "pen pals".
Could she have an accent wall in the bathroom with different color tiles? Sure, but not likely.
Could the lighting be off? Sure
Could she be using a filter that made the tiles look brown? Sure
Could the cute selfie have been from a public restroom when she was out with coworkers? Sure
There is no 100% way of knowing if she is TRUSTWORTHY and telling the truth. You have only talked to her for a few months.
How far do you guys live from each other? Would it be realistic to move there or for her to move to your place down the line?
Can you not find someone to date that you can see on a daily basis? Get to know IN person?
"We just recently met again."
So is she an ex or a blast from the past?
While I agree with her statement:"if you dont trust me we should stop the relationship, "im to old to waste my time in a relationship with no trust" and so on."
I also think it's the EASIEST way for her to not do ANYTHING to show you it IS in fact her bathroom.
The fact that she went on the defenseive like that makes me think she realize she "got caught".
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2023): Well what do you want us to say?
You KNOW the woman and teh bathroom.
If the tiles aren't her bathroom tiles, what's more to say?
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