A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well...Where to start!I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, we are both 16. We haven't had sex, and he really respects me, he is really good looking and in all aspects he is perfect. We used to have such a laugh together but recently my feelings towards him have changed. I still really like him but i don't think i love him anymore. I tried to explain to him but he got quite upset and told me he still loved me and begged me to try to make things work again. The thing is, i have liked another boy for a good while now, and he has told me he likes me too. We kissed not long ago, i feel quite guilty but to be honest it felt right at the time and i really like him...the problem is i know my boyfriend really loves me and the last thing i want to do is hurt him, but i can't stop thinking about this other boy, i don't want to do anything i will regret but i need advice as i am going insane thinking about it!Please help me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): NO NO NO! Theyre all wrong!
The women answered your question by saying, basically, 'break up with him, but in the best way possible'.
Thats so predictable! You have to assess whether its worth fighting for! If you dont love him as much, its because youre not in the honeymoon stage anymore - welcome to the real world! If you are going to make the relationship work because you care for each other then its going to be hard, but you cant just go from one guy to the next forever.
But then again id hate to think that you would be with a guy you dont love forever.
So, why dont you compromise, and tell him that you are feeling weird about the relationship (dont keep him in the dark, because he will start to doubt himself and lose confidence) then take some time out away from him. And if you miss him, and want to be with him then there you go, if you dont then tell him how you feel.
Girls often make the mistake of trying to spare guys' feelings, but if you just tell it how it is its often easier to get over it - ripping the plaster off quickly - as the saying goes.
THINK ABOUT THE REACTIONS YOUR DECISION WILL HAVE!
Good luck mate
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): I totally agree with O'connor.
You need to let him go. You don't want to be in an unhappy relationship forever.
The only thing you can do to make this easier for him, is ask him what he wants when you have broken up. ie, does he want to be friends? Or does he want to stop communication for a while until he is over you.
Good Luck. x
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (23 June 2008):
 i have gone through a very similar situation with my boyf of 3 year. he is perfect, great to me etc etc, but the love hasnt been there for a while and i was scared to hurt him by leaving. however, i learned that by staying with him would hurt him more as its not fair to stay with someone you dont love. we are now finished and we are staying friends which is great. i know it may be difficult to think of hurting him but you have got to finish it with him if you dont love him - you are both so young and you need to give him the chance he deserves to be with someone who loves him as much as he loves them. its not fair to kiss and like someone behind his back so i think you should be honest with yourself and him. if you need more advice, ive been through it so talk to me if you want xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008): Sit down with him and tell him not to interrupt you.Tell him the last thing you want to do is hurt him,then give him the news.He might not like it,but it will be better for
you because it's no good being in a relationship if only one is giving the love.
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