A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Would appreciate views and advice. I have come back from honeymoon and have been looking at my wedding photos. My wedding day was a bit mixed and not easy going at times due to family pressures and nasty comments. However I have become upset mostly due to the fact my mother in law (who does not like me), her mother, her sister and even my own sister ALL turned up wearing various ivory / cream or white outfits. As they are all close family they are in all the photos and so I don't look that special. Lots of people (non-family) have commented on it being a sea of white. My mum was angry because she said its totally rude for people to wear the same colour as the bride. I feel very upset but I don't know if I am over-reacting. There is nothing I can do but I don't understand why they would do this if it's well known it's not the right thing to do. I don't want to look at my photos any more and yet I'm stuck with this problem. Any advice really appreciate it.
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female
reader, SadieB +, writes (18 November 2008):
It's really rude of them to wear white / ivory on your wedding day. You can forgive younger people the error but older members of the family certainly know better than to wear the same colour as the bride. You do have my sympathies, and I'm glad your mother is supporting you in this. I agree with 'eyeswideopen', you should go and have them subtly digitally changed in colour. They will probably never find out but if they do then you can say to them (with a smile) that you had to have their outfits coloured in so people could tell who the bride was - go for very subtle pastels maybe. If you don't want to do that, then perhaps you can pick out a few photos of just you and your new husband, with no-one else in them, and have them around the home. That way you get to look at the photos of your wedding without having to look at your in-laws! I must say that you should ask your mum to have a quick (not too heavy) word with your sister about her wearing white too. You mum doesn't have to mention that you are upset, but she should definitely be told that it was an unpleasant mistake to make. I bet you looked lovely anyway (all brides do!) and although you may think that you all blend in together as a sea of white, I'll bet you stand out a million dollars (perhaps a touch of jealousy from your in-laws?).
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (18 November 2008):
 I forgot, make sure you pick a really putrid color for that mother in law.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 November 2008):
Go to a photographer and have him digitally change everybodies' outfits to a different color. Can be done. While in the past it was kind of a social rule to never wear white to a wedding, these days not so much.
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