A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what to do so any help would be much appreciated. I've recently started having trouble being physical with my boyfriend. We have been going out for over 2 years now and we both virgins (even thought I know that he would have sex right away if he could) due to the fact that I'm not yet ready however we do mess around and occasionally push our boundaries. The problem is lately I don't want to kiss him or have him kiss me. I feel like i don't want to be intimate with him even when we do mess around it feels like we detached and we just doing it cause we both hot and bothered. Don't get me wrong I love him a lot, he means the world to me and I find him attractive and its killing me that I feel this way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the advice I guess this is something I need to work on.... I haven't been myself lately and my family have suspected that I am depressed so I'm going to try and get help with that. Thanks again
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (25 February 2013):
 How long has this been going on? A few days? A week? A month? Sometimes couples just get out of sync. And, if it's been two years, that often triggers an awkward time in a relationship - it could be you're just hitting one of those milestones. The good news is, you love him, you find him attractive and he means a lot to you. That means that if you're in a bit of a funk, then there is love to hold you over.
I'd talk to him about it - I wouldn't tell him the whole "I don't want to kiss you, or have you kiss me" thing - that will be hurtful and saying that will problem cause more problems than solve them. But I would say that you're feeling a little detached, and that you're sorry if you're not as physically/intimately "there". You may just need to get the spark back, exchanging massages or going out to new places... or maybe you need to find something new and fulfilling for yourself - like Anon said, depression can trigger this kind of thing.
I wish you luck, sweetness! :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2013): I had the same thing at about the same time in my relationship, I think I freaked out abit as we were in a serious relationship so I became disinterested. But we worked through it.
Tell him how you feel that your just don't get why you are like it and you don't want to be. Another problem for me wa depression which can have a negative effect on being intimate.
The best thing you can do is talk to him, he will understand and support you.
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