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I don't know whether to keep the stress and the guy or try and shed both!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 September 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 September 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I think I treat my boyfriend bad, and my mood changes are hard for anyone to keep up with. He's not that happy either but says I treat him well. A part of me wants to break up with him, and get rid of some of the stress for both of us. I know it wouldn't help his mood at first, but he'd feel better eventually. I'd kind of feel better knowing he wouldn't have to deal with me anymore. But once I feel better I know I'll want him to come back, so I don't know whether to keep the stress and the guy or try and shed both. Anyone have some advice? Thnx :)

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (14 September 2010):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntWell neither is good for your age is it? Should you not be focusing on your studies? In this case I would suggest you leave your boyfriend, else you would be hindering both your progress and his. Having a boyfriend whilst going through school is fine in any other case not involving stress but this, is one of those choices you will have to make. Either you deal with the stress and try to rid yourself of it or you break up with the boyfriend and free you both.

I hope that helps.

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A female reader, Dorothy Dix Australia +, writes (14 September 2010):

Hi there. You don't say what the stress in your life is about.

The wisest move would be to remove any stress you have in your life. The stress in your life seems to be at the very core of all your problems.

Looking at the age you say you are - 13-15 years - it's possible the stress you are having is to do with your school work and exams coming up. Also it could be to do with your periods (hormonal).

If there is nothing that is worrying you, could it be some kind of mild depression? If you are predisposed to depression, it can often appear at about the time of puberty, which is the age you are now. If your moods seem unreasonable, and there has been nothing happen in your life lately (such as death in the family; parents who argue all the time; or parents going through a divorce), then it might be wise to see your family doctor, who will ask you a series of questions and might also do a blood test to diagnose it property. There might be some other reasons for your mood changes. In any case, it will take a doctor to properly diagnose it.

The fact your boyfriend seems to be a bit unhappy also, might be he is worrying about his schoolwork or upcoming exams. The same concerns you have.

Have it checked out, it's worthwhile to rule out anything serious. It's probably a life stage, and perhaps not feeling confident about who you are.

Another possibility, is are you getting enough sunlight on your skin? Sunlight is necessary for Vitamin D, which helps prevent arthritis, some cancers, and helps control depression. Your doctor might suggest a Vitamin D supplement. Don't go on Vitamin D without first consulting your family doctor.

Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.

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A female reader, sarahrose20 Canada +, writes (14 September 2010):

i notice you didnt mention how much you love him or he loves you but obviously you care about him enough to let him go. but in this case your reasoning for breaking up with him is basically he deservers better but isnt that his choice to deside? be honest is that the real reason or is there others like maybe you dont love him as much as you think he loves you? think about it. also why do you think you are mean to him isnt that just putting yourself down?

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