A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A friend who's getting divorced told me that his wife (who he does not have any kids with) will still come around because "that's just what we do." (they've been married less than 10 years, but been off and on for over 20 years.Is it weird for me to think that he might still love her and want to stay with her? Or does it mean that he does not hate her and wants to remain friends? Prior to this, he made a comment that if she thinks they can be friends after this (she set up the divorc, she's wrong and now that his day to move out is coming closer, it's like he is retracting everything he says. It confuses me because I don't know what to say when he's back and forth, yet as his friend, I feel like I've got to say something...unless he is just venting??!Your thoughts?
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Leodjoneluv +, writes (4 February 2011):
 Dont get involved. Stay out of there relationship. If they break up, you could placed with the blame. I learned this when i was 20. I tried to tell my brother who dropped out of college behind his girlfriend who now is his wife. It only pushed us apart. stay out of it
A
female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (3 February 2011):
Are you sure this guy isn't more than just a friend of yours in that you have feelings for him?
The reason for me asking, is that I know if any close friend of mine was going through the same as he is going through, I would be able to just ask them outright.
Surely if it isn't hurting either of them, and there is no other person involved, then it is there business if they wish to see each other.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 February 2011):
 Well they were married for a long time therefore am sure that yes he does still love her and that he might have just been angry at his ex wife for wanting a divorce and that is why he said he wont be her friend after this.
Its hard on anybody to get a divorce and since he is not the one that filed for it am guessing at the moment he is really hurting and confused. He probably still enjoys her company and he might be trying to win her back.
Saying that he may end up getting hurt more in the long run and he will need his friends there to support him. Maybe just mention to him that you are worried about him as you are scared he is going to set himself up for more hurt. When a marriage breaks down it is essential for the two people to have distance to allow themselves to grieve over there failed marriage and he needs this. But he needs to realise that himself you nobody can tell him what to do.
Therefore I suggest just telling him how you feel and encourage him to open up to you about how he is feeling. Goodluck.
...............................
|
