A
female
age
36-40,
*evertofallagain
writes:Ok here is the deal. I met this great guy but I made it clear from the beginning I was not interested in a relationship, which is totally true. It was fine since he has a girlfriend anyway. We became good friends, however we also knew from the beginning we were both sexually attracted to each other. One thing led to the next and we are now friends with benefits. Which I enjoy very much but we both know we can jeopardize are friendship if his girlfriend caught us. I dont know if we should back off and become strictly friends if thats even possible or continue what we're doing cuz we're both having a great time. This is only one of my dilemmas. Second dilemma is I set the tone of our friendship to no feelings and no mushy crap. I am a very guarded person and I'm not sure I believe in Love and all the other crap. But I want our friendship to be more than fun and games. I think he holds back any feelings he may has because hes scared of being shot down. He tells me all the time, he can be a better friend than I let him be. Because I hold in so much and I don't like talking about feelings and thats probably why Im asking the advice of complete strangers. I wanna be able to put my guard down but I dont wanna fall in love either because it would be really easy with a such an amazing guy. I just want to make him feel like he can tell me anything and everything but I dont know how to do that without acting like a pushy needy girl or without doing a complete 180 on him. Im just lost about this whole situation. Please Help!!
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friend with benefits, has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 November 2009):
If you don't want to get really hurt, back off now.
A
female
reader, nevertofallagain +, writes (20 November 2009):
nevertofallagain is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI totally hear you anonymous reader but that's why I'm asking for advice not judgment. I did state in my question that I have a problem with the fact I lack feelings. If he don't care why should I? I'm friends with him, not her. It is a complicated situation, I have no intentions of trying to break them up just to be clear. And I do understand what comes around goes around but I'm not gna break off a good thing because I'm worried about a person I hardly know. I want what's best for my friend and I. But in all honesty thank you for your opinion.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009): He has a girlfriend! Does this mean nothing to you?! How would you feel if you found out the person you loved was cheating on you? Do you not think your actions are a little selfish especially considering you wasn't originally after anything serious. I hope you are happy to have contributed to the break up of someone elses relationship.
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