A
female
age
51-59,
*runicorn
writes:I met this guy which he is very nice and good looking. I like him a lot. We have dated several and I enjoyed his company. We even spend the weekend at the coast nothing happen since we both brought our kids to enjoyed ourself. We have alot of things in common. The only problem is he invited me to his house. His house smell so awful and he is messy and he is so so on his hygiene. Plus I didnt know his roomate had cats which I am allergic too. I was having trouble breathing I had to leave because I couldnt take it no more. That night after I left my breathing got worst had to go to the hospital because I was swollen up. I had to spend several hours in until I was able to breath on my ownThe next day I told it what had happen he acted like he didnt care than he said he had to go and hang up the phone.After that I told him that I felt he didnt care for my well being for what happen that I didnt blame. That I need to know if he was going to take our relationship with dedication and concern that I needed to know if he was serious of getting to know me or not.He got mad at me and havent heard from him. Do you think I should apologize to him for what I said? I just wanted to tell him how I felt. Was this so wrong? Plus I dont know if I can deal with a guy being so messy and home stinking that way. I am very clean. But if I need to apologize because I was wrong I will do so I dont have the shame in doing so if I am off. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 February 2012):
 No, I surely wouldn't apologize. I would let him cool of though. HE needs to call and talk to you.
Maybe he just isn't a keeper?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 February 2012):
 Nope no apology needed on your end.
You told him his house made you sick and he blew you off.
more than likely he's embarrassed about the smell and the mess but he has no coping skills to work with it...
I had to give up my dogs to be with my current partner.. his allergies could not cope with the dog hair. I hope you are doing better now after the attack.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): No. You have nothing for which to apologize. If he cannot take care of themselves and their property, how will they take care of you? My ex had 2 cats and claimed to be a serious animal lover. But he would let them do whatever they wanted, wherever they wanted, wouldn't clean it up for weeks (and I was NOT going to touch it--I hate cats to begin with and it wasn't my responsbility to do it), and so the house and then his clothes began to reek of it. I attempted to bring it to his attention as carefully and tactfully as I could. He was embarrassed at first, but it didn't change. He'd clean it and then it would happen all over again. There were other hygiene issues as well. And like you, we had great chemistry, when I met him he was exceedingly well dressed, but over time the "real him" showed up--the lazy, careless slob that he really is. So I wouldn't worry about it and honestly, this is just a glimpse into who he is, and you're worth more than that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): I don't think you need to apologize. You spoke your truth. He probably wasn't where you are with regards to eachother and still felt like he was getting to know you. You may have suggested you wanted more than he was ready for.... but now you know. I suggest you do nothing. Let him call you. If he is worth your time and your heart, he will listen to what you said and call. If not, then lucky you know now.
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