A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I had been abusive relationships till recently.That makes me commitment phobia. example, I feel fear to hear man says I am independent, I feel this man want to absorb my energy or depend on me till I will be nothing. I feel fear to hear man says he is serious, I feel this man pretend or rushing like love addict. Specially I am just so scared with men who shows me passion. Passion makes me doubt and fear. Mostly men feel strange- why she is always calm like ice to my passion- then I leave him. Recently I have no power to date with anyone. just be alone.Seriously I want to get back the heart to trust somebody. I feel lonely. But I don't know how to heal my past and get out of the cirlce of commitment phobia. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (4 January 2013):
 You expressed yourself in your own way and the language is beautiful. Right now you are fed up with men because you keep running into losers. You just haven't met the right one yet. When you meet the right one you would have fewer doubts. Because of abuse in the past, you have become more vigilant and discriminating in your choice of partner. You are more ready to let go when something doesn't feel right. It is actually a good thing to cut it short rather than to drag it out, get attached and more hurt later. Feeling lonely is never a good reason to dive into a relationship that doesn't feel right for you. Trusting your gut is far more powerful than just trusting people. Being single is not that bad of a thing.
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