A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 19. We've been together for 3 years and he loves me and I love him but now I just can't see myself with him. He pretty much killed my social life because he's so awkward and now I have no friends. He can imagine us together forever and constantly talks about kids and the future and I'm JUST 18. I just don't know how to break up with him. I don't know how to end a 3 year relationship when I know it'll hurt him so much. How do I do this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 October 2011):
 Denise32 gives GREAT advice. Yes he will be hurt... but the longer you let him believe you two have a forever life together the more hurt he's going to be.
It's better to be honest with him now... and yes if he does not take it very well... going cold turkey (No Contact) is really the best way to go.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (2 October 2011):
 Yes, he will be hurt, no question. Rejection is never a fun experience.
But you have been together since you were 16. That's too young to settle down with someone, when you both are very young and have your whole lives ahead of you. Your social life and friends have suffered during this relationship. That is good enough reason to end it.
All you can do is to sit down with him when you're feeling calm and collected - maybe treat him to lunch out - and tell him you have thought long and hard over what you're about to say, which is that you have come to the conclusion it's time to say goodbye. Let him know it's not because of something he's said or done, or not said or done (unless he really has acted in an outrageous way at some point) but because you're both still very young and that you need to move on.
Of course, he will want to know more specifically WHY and then you can mention that you don't think you're compatible in the way he interacts when in social situations. It would be helpful to him (for the future with someone else) if you can point to a specific instance of when you were with others and it was awkward. If he asks more questions, or wants more information about your reason for ending it, then answer him. Also, tell him you do appreciate his kindness, honesty and the enjoyable times you've spent, but don't allow him to beg for another chance, OR to remain friends.
If he asks to be friends, or to have another chance, it will only drag things out and postpone the inevitable. Better no further contact. He may be angry, upset, but try to keep your cool and not respond with anger.
I wish you all the best with this!
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