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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I've been ok with my ex bf (the love of my life) going out with girls, because I know him, and he can't hold a relationship (which is why we're not together), so I know that none of these relationships mean anything to him. But he's just started dating a friend of his he's known for 5 years, and I'm scared because I know he'll treat this one differently. This time he's actually going to worry about the consequences of his own bad actions rather than only looking out for himself. I'm scared...I don't know how to deal with him being in a commited relationship if it's not with me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): Look, he is your EX. Love of your life or not, he is now in your past. Because he is your ex you no longer have any business concerning yourself with who he dates or who he makes a commitment to, etc.
The way you deal with him being in a committed relationship with someone else is to remind yourself that the commitment is not to YOU, and will not and cannot be, because he no longer loves you. You split up, remember? If everything was perfect between you, the break-up would not have happened. You have no choice but to accept it as a fact, and move on. Well, you DO have one other choice and that is to get upset about it, and be miserable! But surely the time to be unhappy was when you and he stopped being a couple.
Your life is yours. You cannot control what he does. So let him commit to her if that's what he wants to do. You have better things to focus on in your life - maybe meeting a nice man who will love and appreciate you for who you are.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2006): Loads of people get this feeling with their ex's. They almost feel like their ex 'belongs' to them and they get jealous when he goes out with other people. They sometimes also feel like their ex's girlfriend can't understand.
However, your ex is the part of your past; and although the past is part of your life it doesn't do to dwell on it.
Live for the present and the future.
Be happy for your ex, and although it seems hard now; life goes on and both of you will move on. You never know, you might be in a relationship yourself soon. =]
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A
female
reader, talking sense +, writes (9 December 2006):
Hi
Its always hard to stay friends with ex boyfriends!! But its worse if you still love them and they are with someone else. I am in this type of situation myself at the moment. But some one gave me some good advice the other day and it really has helped a little. They said:- "sometimes when you love someone its kinda to let them go, because if you love them there happiness is the most important thing! Also they said whats meant for you want pass you by.
I hope this helps. Now its time for you to meet someone else.
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A
female
reader, VictoriasSecrets  +, writes (9 December 2006):
 I hate to have to say this to you, but what are you doing? this guy doesnt have your best interests at heart, you say you love him, yet he is hopping into bed with anyone who flashes a bit of skirt in his direction. I think you need to stop worrying so much about his life and concentrate on your own. This guy will never be yours, he will never be anybodys, well not until he takes an awful tumble off of his playing field perch, only then will he ever snap out of being a typical hot blooded jack the lad. That is exactly what he is, he is a jack the lad, and even if he did treat this one differently, he will soon get bored and be back on the prowel for the next bit of fresh. I think that you should start going out more with the girls, have fun, let your hair down, stop worrying about what this guy is up to, and concentrate fully on YOU. You will be amazed at the new found confidence that you will find in yourself, and when you are out on the tiles, looking sexy and as hot as hell, he will come sniffing around you again, and you will then feel great pleasure in telling him to do one.
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