A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:OK, well here's the thing. I started going out with my boyfriend a couple of months ago, and he used to be my best friend. he had a girlfriend before, but broke up with her and then we got together. however, now, i do still like spending time with him, but i dont in a sexual way.. if you know what i mean? it just doesnt do anything for me. and i try and avoid kissing him and everything. but if i think about him being with another girl i get really jealous. it would be really difficult to break up with him though, because we have the same group of friends. and because of this, i keep saying no when my friends invite me out because i dont want to keep spending time with him. i know it would kill him if i broke up with him, and im not sure if i should, and whether i would regret it if i did. i know its really harsh, but im doing a really demanding uni course and its kind of easier to already have a boyfriend, as i dont have to worry about meeting new guys and stuff. when we have a bit to drink, we do get along better, and along better more sexually.. if you get my drift, but i cant help thinking that it could be anyone when ive been drinking?!!? im just not sure what to do. Do i break up with him and risk causing a rift between my friends (i dont knwo whose side they will take, as it sometimes seems they prefer him to me), and risk regretting my decsision, or do i stay with him because its safe and easy? even though im not really happy?any help would be much appreciated.many thanksr xxx
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best friend, broke up, jealous, kissing Reply to this Question
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female
reader, frankie.says.relax +, writes (9 November 2008):
 hope this isnt too late, but just think about how important the sexual part of the relationship is to you and him, regardless of what other people will say ... if it isnt that important then prephaps you could stick it out, as it could all come with time: especially if you werent very intimate friends to begin with then getting past that could be difficult, but possible. if you feel it is them dump him. alcohol generally emphasis feelings rather than simply creating them: im not saying that you should get drunk to feel anything towards him because thats not right, but prehaps there is something there that you dont have the confidence to bring out? in any case, dont feel that just because you share the same set of friends means you cant talk to them about it, they will know both of you better than anyone on here who knows and will be able to help. even talk to him if you feel you can, who knows ? he may be feeling the same thing.good luck.
A
female
reader, Kuroneko  +, writes (4 November 2008):
I think you should stick with it...and bear this in mind, when you get married, there will be times or a time when you may no longer be sexually attracted to your spouse. But if you get along, and he's a good boyfriend and the only thing lacking is sexual chemistry, I don't know that that's the right reason to break it off with him.
Having said that, this is all my opinion on your issue. I hope everything works out for you.
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