A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a moral dilemma. My partner has some health conditions such as endometriosis, which means she has a harder time falling pregnant with a chance of not falling pregnant at all. She has other minor health conditions which after thinking about it is starting to worry me.I do not want to knowingly pass these conditions onto my children. I also care about my partner so I feel stuck. What do I do from here? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (21 December 2018):
 Unless there’s an incredibly high chance of passing it on, which there isn’t, this is worrying for no reason. I have it, but nobody else in my family does. What they did pass down? The need for glasses and also arthritis. Arthritis has been hitting earlier in age each generation, so they didn’t know almost two decades until after I was born; 70s for my grandparents, 50s for my parents and I’m showing signs in my early 20s of getting it within the next decade or two.
There are so many things you can pass down without even realising it’s in your genes, like cancer or Huntington Disease. Endometriosis isn’t worth the concern, trust me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2018): If your child had, say, a 50% chance of inheriting a fatal heart defect I'd understand where you're coming from.
But, almost EVERYONE has some sort of minor "genetic issue", .e.g, poor eyesight, etc. I think your reaction is extreme and I'd recommend some deeper digging as to where these fears are really coming from!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2018): I remember reading many years ago a medical article in a paper that nature always tries to converge towards improvement and prefection so illnesses or deformaties in the parents either dont show in the ofsprings or if it does it usually is in a milder form.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2018): In this cold clinical world, the main thing I worry about passing on to my children, is the same. I have the moral of 'In Sickness and in health' and I am a believer in let mother nature take her own course. Don't search for what you believe is perfection, you will never ever, ever, find it, nor make it!Only you know what you want to do and for the real reasons. If you want children and she can not have them, then yes, you have some soul searching to do. Worry about our children's future in the world we live inand how it is changing right before our eyes. Worry about keeping them authentic and in touch with their feelings and caring about nature, animals and humanity. Worry about how you can help people with bad health. The world should not disregard people who have health problems and see them as a danger of changing the gene pool, it is the spirit of the person that matters not the physical.Many people I meet appear to be so clinical with no real depth about them, no compassion or warmth, just holding a vision for those who fall asleep.Life and Love is vibrant and very natural!!!! not clinical.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (18 December 2018):
 NOBODY would actually WANT to pass on ANY genetic "defects" to their children. While I understand your concerns, I do wonder if this is "cold feet" at the thought of having a child? Will this be your first child?
If your worries are genuinely about the child (and not about whether you are ready to have one), you need to speak with your doctor and get them to put you in contact with someone who can give you real information about the chances of health issues being passed on. If the chances are high, perhaps discuss alternatives to natural conception, such as fertilization of another woman's egg with your sperm and then implant into your partner's womb. There are probably loads of other alternatives too.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 December 2018):
 Well, ONLY a female child would possibly get endometriosis. No one in my family has it but two of my kids do, possibly from my HUSBAND'S side.
Genetics is a draw of the luck. You just don't know what you got, what you pass on and what you don't pass on.
I'm sure YOU might even have some genetic "defects" that YOU possibly could pass on.
It sounds a little like you are looking for a way out of the relationship, here.
So many things can go wrong during pregnancy. There IS not guarantee that your child will be healthy. There never HAS been, yet people have had kids for millions of years.
Someone can LOOK completely healthy and have dormant genetic defects...
Consider genetic testing perhaps? Talk to a doctor about your concerns?
...............................
|
