A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need to know when is the right time to walk away from a relationship. Could it be my decisions are hasty. Today I ended things with my boyfriend of 9 months. We are so happy and fine when we are not fighting but we are very bad fighters, which has made me very hurt to decide to give up. I told him this morning that I think maybe we are incompatible.We have been having unnecessary fights which drained me to a point where I can't take the relationship anymore. My now ex, is very particular about his territory. As his girlfriend, he wouldn't explain anything to me but rather he would tell me "no, don't do ABC " and I am supposed to obey that. It's been a series of events. Like not allowed to suggest to him that he can get a better place than where he stays. If I visit his office I'm not allowed to use office facility and it's not open for discussion. " I can't wash my car in his yard, I am supposed to have done that on my way to his house or rather do it at my place when I return.I am not allowed to ask anything about his family, even petty things like " how are you related to your cousin?" I always don't get any answer except for "no leave it, it's none of your business" That we resolved it by am just making an example. If we do not agree about something I will be told to take the highway, like one day we had issues parking my car, so when I started talking he just decided to drive off and drop me at my place and was better off walking on foot, at 01AM. The other incident was when I offered to pick him up at the club, when I was waiting outside at 02AM and I pressurized him to come so he said if I want to leave I must just do that, so I left him- his reason for leaving me was that I was misbehaving and I could have humiliated him in front of people- when I got in there he didn't talk to me so i tried poking him and he asked me to back off- so I left. We spoke about it the following day, but I did pick up and mention to him that we are not compatible.The past week I have been constantly thinking about ending things. Three days ago, I tried to avoid any arguments, but this morning and yester night things were back to the usual hurting fights.I told him this morning that, things don't work out between us. I told him that I am also drained by the relationship and do not think we should be seeing each other anymore. I was supposed to have spent the weekend with him but what he said this morning was a deciding factor.... I felt like this is it, things are not working out. I may love him but I also shud know when to walk away.Im pretty tough and stubborn also, so I think that this r/ship will never survive. Am I the good judge as I do not intend going back. I've had it..
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (23 February 2008):
 Hi
Geez you two sound like me and my ex. We used to have awful rows, not physical, but verbal. We said some horrendous things to each other, and like you say, its draining! I ended it, and it took me a good 2 weeks to feel back to normal physically!
That was about 5 weeks ago, and i wouldnt go back, no way!
I too dont think we were compatible. He thought we could work on our arguments, and try harder, but we had been going on like that for over a year, and we HAD tried. Some people, are just volitile together. End of. Thats what i think anyway.
I personally think, just by reading this, and being able to relate to it, that you have done the right thing. I too am stubborn. But our problem was, he was too! Double trouble lol
Good luck.
C xxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): Hi Hunny
It sounds as if you have done the right thing for you and that is the best way forward and you dont need to feel pressured in a relationship so yea you did the right thing love. Take some time on pampering you love and you will aventually meet someone who you do click with and life will be better for you sweetheart sorry to here of your pain, I hope things get better real soon TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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