A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi all! A few months back I allowed my now ex boyfriend to do a little work on my computer knowing I had nothing to hide from him and he could access all areas no restrictions. But the next day I logged on and something just told me that things were not right and had a gut feeling he had begun stalking my every move via my wireless connection. I kept this secret from all members of my family whom regulary use my pc and also from my ex whom I have slept with recently(stupid I know)for months I have researched and checked over and over to find this unnamed network that had full access well today I hit jackpot and located it and its contents and safely disabled it, cutting off all resources to my network. So why would he stalk me after he made it clear he no longer wanted me in his life? I have now let my family know we were all being stalked by my mentaly unstable ex boyfriend and are all happy nothing bad erupted from his obssesion with me,should I let him know I know the truth about his activity???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2011): I agree with the advice to have your computer double checked by an expert. I also think you should contact police to find out exactly what the laws are in your area.
Do this BEFORE speaking to your ex. There is nothing to be gained from showing your hand prematurely. And if there is a criminal case to be made, you don't want to give him a heads up. Let him be shocked and caught off guard when the police show up at his doorstep.
One thing I don't understand is why you didn't warn your family, or anyone else who had access to your computer. It wasn't just your privacy that was violated but theirs as well. They needed that information to protect themselves. And it is never a good idea to isolate yourself and suffer in silence. When you are being preyed upon in any way, you surround yourself with allies. Never try and go it alone.
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (6 July 2011):
 I wouldn't. Stalking behavior could be an indicator of more dangerous tendencies. If you find out he's been stalking in any other ways, you should call the police. As is that kind of computer monitoring is completely illegal. Your last paragraph makes it sound like this isn't the first frightening thing he's done. With that crime you would be more than able to get a restraining order or something similar. Don't confront him though, that could be dangerous.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 July 2011):
 Well I guess it is your choice if you want to confront him about it or not. Was it him that broke up with you? This is quite disturbing behaviour and I guess he just wanted to see if you where moving on with your life and if you where with anybody else. Ex's can do real obsessive things. But if he is the one that finished with you well then it is very odd behaviour. I guess somewhere deep down he still felt like you where his property and he wanted to keep an eye on you. Am glad you have managed to disable it now. I guess it is really your choice now if you want to say it to him or not.
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