A
female
age
36-40,
*vni
writes:Hi.. i've been having lot of problems lately with my boyfriend.. i've been with him for 8years now. He is a good guy but i got to know that he mailed a friend of his(female)gave her his no and never bothered to let me know... i happened to find out and questioned about it only to be accused of being over possessive and intrusive and down right sick! He hasn't called me and hasn't been picking up my calls ever since... was i wrong? I'm feeling extremely guilty bcause i really trust him and love him a lot to lose him for such a trivial thing.. plz help me...
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 Give him all the space he needs. If that is the way he talked to you for the first time after not speaking to you in days, he doesn't have any remorse at all. He is a bully. Dump him and find someone who treats you better. If you think that that is the way that you deserve to be treated, and that you should have your character assassinated every time you have a disagreement, he has already turned your relationship into an abusive one. Please don't go back to this guy.
A
female
reader, Avni +, writes (30 January 2008):
Avni is verified as being by the original poster of the question hi... thank you all so much for responding to my query... its a great pleasure to know that all you people out there are so ready to help.. i found that very comforting.. :) im really much at peace...
and to keep u posted... i spoke to him last night and believe me i spent the worst half an hour of my life getting abused for being the sick BITCH who cannot trust him.. he told me its his life and that i shouldn't interfere... i should respect his privacy... and loads of other comments on my character.. im sick of this but somewhere i feel i erred too.. i should have given him more space and privacy right.. but now i feel so excluded from his life.. almost feel like an obligation to him..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): male anon has a point. I bet he would be ready to listen if you had a male friend. Its always different when its the other way around.#xx
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (29 January 2008):
Talk about an overreaction. When someone reacts that extremely to what most people would consider a normal request between a couple that are in a relationship, they are hiding something. I think that Waterloo Sunset and Annalisa are right, he may be using this as a way to put some distance between you so that he can play the field once again, but it's not fair to make you think that this is all your fault. You need to get to the bottom of this, he's not being truthful. If he insists that you are wrong and he is right, he's only putting his own spin on this so that he can be in control. That's bullying. He can't expect you to be happy that he is phoning other women, and they're obviously not his "friends" if he is hiding it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): The fact that he isnt talking in my book makes him look a bit guilty. Has he suddenly decided that he wants some freedom and this couples thing isnt for him. You are both young, so why settle down so soon. And he is allowed, along with you, to have friends of the opposite sex. He should of mentioned it to you if you have gone out for such a long time. But you do need to talk and to get to the bottom of this and then decide your next step.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): Get a male friend then you will find he's ready to listen.
Good luck
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