A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. First off I just want to start off with that I suffer and have been diagnosed with Pure-O (Purely Obsessional OCD). I am currently engaged to the love of life and we are about to get married in a few months. However, just less than two years ago I went to a festival with a few friends and my obsessive thoughts were getting the best of me. Even though at this point I had been seeing a doctor and had tools to handle these situations, my solution was to drink the thoughts away. I got so drunk I ventured away from my friends and attempted to flirt with a few girls. Of course I was rejected because I was a sloppy drunk. Because of this feeling of rejection (I think) I went up to the next girl and just started rubbing her neck, then licking her neck (quite embarrassing to write and I am very ashamed of myself). Something clicked in my brain and I went into full panic mode because I had realized what I had done to my then girlfriend. I then found my friends and stayed with them until the end of the night.I woke up in the morning in a panic that something bad had happened but couldn't remember any details. My doctor had told me to not fixate on the thoughts and to just let them be. Fast forward to about a few months ago where I began fixating on the night again and the details of the night had finally come back to me. It caused a lot of anxiety for me but at the time I had come to the conclusion it wouldn't be fair to me to transfer my guilt to her. I was able to handle it for a few months, but ultimately told her what happened after something she said triggered a rush of guilt.In hindsight I almost feel like it would have been better if I had kept my mouth shut because I have now transferred the pain onto her. I can only now do my best to support her and hope she'll still marry me. Any advice for a scumbag like myself?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): I hope you guys will be able to work through it. Yes, it's not great what you did, but it could have been much much worse...
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