A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:help me! i was looking through my boyfriends phone and we were just messing about, but in his inbox it said stuff like "dont worry babe mattys here for you xxxx" and thats the sort of stuff he says to me! its not fair i started crying to i tihnk he relised what it was, i dont want to confront him because i dont want him to end the relationship and im scared. this is how we got together him talking like that to me even when he had a girlfriend, is he cheating? its breaking my heart :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, raiders  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 good luck and I hope everything works out for you.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 November 2010):
 What was his excuse for the text message?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): Fair enough. I just have a feeling you'll end up with your heart broken.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey everyone thanks for All the advice, we had a long chat over the weekend with alot of crying mostl on his part, and I generally believe he hasn't cheated. He adores me and I know that. But if I'm wrong I'm going to look like a fool, I love him more then anything in the intire universe so it's a chance I'm willing to take, thanks guys! X
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): Yes honey he is cheating. This is his M O.
Karma is a bitch isn't it? He cheated with u now he is cheating on you
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (20 November 2010):
 Usually when a guy cheats with you, he will cheat on you. There are some rare cases where they don't though. You need to confront him about the texts and if you can't tell if he is lying, then research on the net ways to tell if he is lying.
Relax. Just relax he might be cheating and he might not.
Evaluate yourself and your relationship with him. Is he acting really suspicious or are you paranoid?
Decide how far you are willing to go. Are you going to snoop around to find out if he is cheating or are you going to just confront him.
Get your decision ready. If you do find out that he is cheating, are you going to work through things or are you going to throw in the towel and leave?
Confront him. If you snooped and know that he is cheating, it's going to make this conversation a little easier and if you are just confronting him then good for you, either way, this conversation isn't going to be a fun one.
If you feel that he is lying, go with your gut, there is a reason that you feel like that. Don't let him charm his way out of it.
Good luck and let me know what happens, okay?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): To be blunt, yes he probably is cheating and you know what? You really shouldn't be suprised. You knew he was a cheat because that's how you two got together. It's time to dump this guy,look for somebody with better morals and maybe think about your own too.
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (19 November 2010):
Cheaters don't change, they just switch partners...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): I'm afraid as upsetting it is for you, you are BOTH cheaters, this cannot fall just on the man, sorry, but you have said, this is how you got together with him, so you were openly assisting him in cheating initially, and didn't mind what pain you were creating for his girlfriend at the time. You went ahead as you were on the receiving end of the goodies..now the table has turned.
Sadly, the chances of him cheating on you is almost certain, people don't change, and women who think they can be the prize that lures the man away from a current relationship, who will be SO different, so special, that the man will NEVER do the same to them, is either very naive or extremely conceited, thinking they can change someone.
And why wouldn't you want to confront him, is beyond me, as that means you are condoning it, by not talking to him about it, the alternative is ugly, and one where YOU lose control of your own life, by treading on eggshells, and watching, checking, everything he does from now on - Is that any way to be in a relationship?
Hopefully the latter gives you the answer you need to make your decision! Make sure in the future, you always WAIT until a man ends his present relationship before ever making a move on him - and that doesn't mean a few days, but several weeks, may be months, so you know he has really moved on, and you are entitled to date him. Don't become a woman who cannot be trusted, you will lose respect of both men and women.
Good luck!
Jilly
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (19 November 2010):
Your already thinking that he is cheating so he might be cheating deep down we always know when something is not right. why don't you want to confront him about it? If he is messing around wouldn't you want to know, wouldn't you want to end this relationship that is not letting you be happy because of the trust issues. You need to love yourself more and tell yourself that you don't need to tolerate a cheater, that you deserve better. If you confront him and he leaves you than you will be better off because why be with a person that will not allow you to voice your feelings or opinion.
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A
male
reader, mth1980 +, writes (19 November 2010):
u are right........if he cheated with u
well he will cheat on u
....karma is a bitch.....
what goes around is coming around
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (19 November 2010):
Why do you not want to break up? He is a cheater, thats how he got together with you, and thats how he's currently working on getting together with some other naive woman. Lesson is learnt, now leave this man before you get too involved and loose all self respect.
I am pretty sure this man IS cheating. You know his history, you know he doesn't have any moral that tells him cheating is wrong, and you KNOW thats what he used to tell YOU when he was cheating with his ex!
What else do you need to know, are you waiting for the day he has you pregnant and you walk in on him and another girl? Don't wait for that. Confront him if you wish, but I think its best to just leave. Its hard and tough, but history has taught us that cheaters stay cheaters.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (19 November 2010):
 If he has already done it once, then there is a good chance he's going to continue to do it. The problem is: He hasn't been pretending to be someone he's not. You KNOW what kind of a guy he is. He cheated on his ex with you. Unfortunately, the problem is with you thinking it would never happen to you.
Talk to him. Find out exactly what is going on. Don't try to convince yourself he would never do it to you, because he may actually have.
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