A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I cheated on my guy and he broke up with me and he told me before that when he says it's over he really means it. What should i do????
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): What should you do? Accept it and move on! Some of us men, mean exactly what we say and do exactly what we mena to do!
A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (9 April 2008):
 Call up the guy you cheated with..... Maybe if he gets to himself for a while he can work through it. Men are saddled with being emotionless flat line dogs. But when we are in love with a woman the thought of her with another man pretty well flips every breaker in the box. If he cares enough to engage in conversation with you, and if he is in love with you, he will ask you things you will not want to answer. If you want him back you should answer him. With as much painful truth as you can stand. The only thing worse than hearing exactly what this guy did to you is to let his imagination run wild. As good bad hard gentle frantic as this guy gave it to you it pales with what he imagines. And the only way to disarm this is to tell him what he wants to know. I know how crazy it sounds and he may not care to know. It seems to be proportional to his feelings for you. For most guys that is. I can't explain this but I've read it elsewhere. But it was after I had the experience firsthand. I have been accused of all sorts of perversion. But I just had to be able to reconcile her experience with the other guy and what she gets with me. And I've seen/heard this from women too. It seems almost universal IF the person is trying to stay in the relationship. For me it seems related to the tendency to think they hooked up solely to fuck with my head and spent their whole time together laughing at and mocking me. Which is nonsense but that's about how it feels after it flies around your head and leaks back out. Its two people that for whatever personal reasons ended up together and it had little to do with you. But you just know it was all a plot to ruin your peace of mind and torture you. Being candid seems to be proof that this person will do what it takes to redeem themselves in your eyes. That they are willing to sacrifice the whole image that they have spent untold hours and years positioning in your head... seems to buy absolution. It is acknowledgment of the depth you have been shaken and shows a willingness to join you there and rebuild from the ground up. This all sounds crazy and this is not a suggestion to grovel. This was my experience that I questioned as being just some way to make my mate grovel. Only after the internet was a reality did I look at cheating sites and see that this is something they suggest. But they also suggest a time limit on it. Ask....get it out there... sacrifice your sense of self for the relationship and then move on and never speak of it again. I keep wanting to qualify this by the acknowledgment of how nutty this all sounds. Don't believe me. Google infidelity or cheating. Order comes from chaos. If your life is a mess you are unwittingly on the cusp of order. You must recognize the mess and maybe create a bigger mess to sort prioritize and eliminate. In this, order will unfold naturally.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70  +, writes (9 April 2008):
 move on
you hurt him and he broke it off. Leave him to heal
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): give him time....if he loves you he'll come back
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