A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my guy for around 5 years on and off... on and off because of several reasons including me getting involved with other people. There are some serious flaws in our relationship like kids vs. no kids, religious things etc.. but nothing that I think couldnt be worked out... I cheated on him 2 times in the past and it devastated him...it hurt his self esteem and everything... and recently I started talking to someone new and there has been no sex at all however I have stayed with this new guy out of town and my boyfriend happened to come around and my car was missing... you know what happens next... I guess my question is, I dont know why I keep cheating or sneaking or whatever you want to call it, especially since alllll I want is to be happy with one person. This person is my best and only friend and I dont want to lose him or hurt him, I love him and need him and hes been there for me through the worst things that life brings. I know I am a terrible person for what I have made him feel and everyday I hate myself for what I have done. I will get what I deserve somehow in life, but is there a way I can make him know that I do care about him and that Im sorry since my words dont mean anything anymore? I know I dont even deserve him but I just am worried that what Ive done will scar him for life and I dont want that to happen. please help :(
View related questions:
self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010): As you dont know why you keep cheating,i will offer you an interpretation,you cheat "BECAUSE YOU WANT TO" and as youre not the one getting hurt,so,why not? Sorry,you dont love or care for your guy. Let him go. Its him who needs advice. Advice for you would be GROW UP !!!!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 January 2010):
Scar him for life is right, I'm afraid. Just leave him. You don't love him, no matter how much you think you do. He just represents some stability it what is clearly an unhappy life you're living. You need to take a look at your life, and your past, and find out why it is you cheat. And if that means counselling, that means counselling. There is nothing now that you can do or say to your boyfriend, because it's happened 3 times. That's a lot of chances. Look at your own life and live for yourself until you can commit to someone.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010): All you can really do is either earn his trust back, slowly and surely. And this time don't break it because you are insecure.
Or you can let him move on and find someone who isn't gonna poison him when he least suspects it.
This guilt is the very least you deserve. You reap what you sow.
Flynn 24
...............................
A
male
reader, redsox29 +, writes (27 January 2010):
Too late, you already have crushed him. He deserves so much better than you will ever be able to give him at this point. Without trust and communication, a relationship is nothing. From what you've written, I don't think that you can ever get that back, especially if you are still cheating and sneaking.
You really need to look deep and try to understand WHY you are doing this. Why would you sabotage this relationship? Do you feel like you don't deserve love? Maybe you aren't ready for a real relationship and you need to be alone and learn to love yourself before you can truly love someone else.
Good luck.
...............................
|
