A
female
age
51-59,
*oveforme
writes:hello i have a question about my marriage we have been together for 12 years in the past 5 years we can't see eye to eye my husband is now drinking very heavily and only wants sex when he is tipsi and i can't stand the site of him when he is drinking but i give in just to keep the piece and now i feel like it's a chore in do still love him but just can't stand in the same room with him i'm not sure how much longer i can take this he won't seek help and i fear that we are on the way to a seperation .What should i do? also when i don't give in to sex and he is drinking he will go online and look at other women then come in and wake me up to get some things are just not the same like when we first started out our lives together.Am i the one that is in the wrong for not wanting sex or not liking the smell of his breath
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female
reader, marie-joan  +, writes (22 April 2010):
the first thing you need to do is know you do not deserve this. also you are better than this. I understand this man is your husband but he is pretty much sexually abusing you, he should not be looking at other women ever, you are his wife and should be his only girl in his life. Alcoholism is a very serious condition and it can lead into a world of hurt and abuse and you should not be dragged into that situation because you do not deserve it at all. Keep your head up and know you are a very strong women for dealing with this. Also know you do not have to satisfy him with yourself he should want you because he loves you.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 April 2010):
There comes a point where you must look out for yourself. From what you've said, you've already tried to get him to seek help, and he hasn't, and now it's got to the point where he is so blatantly treating you badly and looking at other women when you don't give him sex. He clearly has problems, but unless he seeks help, you'll have to leave for your own sake. You shouldn't have to live like this.
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