A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a recovering addict that has had to transplant to another state. I had to leave behind my ex of 8 years and have been dating a new guy for 7 months that I do love. I don't have the same feelings with him though. With my ex (who has also had some trouble with relationships since we broke up) I felt every emotion deeply. When I love him or hate him that emotion rocks me to my core. I feel it viscerally from head to toe and I don't feel that with my current boyfriend. A good analogy would be: I'd die for my current boyfriend but I'd kill for my ex. Am I ever going to find that with someone else or have I lost the real love I had? Since my ex, no one has made me feel as alive as I felt with him. It was almost like another high with him and I'm scared I won't find that again. I just don't know what to do b.c I'm in the middle of piecing my life back together and going back just isn't smart for my recovery but I still love him and always will. He saved my life and I can't seem to forget that or just move on entirely when I know I should.
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broke up, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 March 2017):
 It sounds to me like you are simply not ready to be in another relationship. If you are not over your ex then being with someone is not going to help. You would be better on your own growing and being independent and taking the time to get over your ex before you jump in to another relationship.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (11 March 2017):
 It's comparing apples to oranges isn't it. Every new relationship brings different emphasises. You have had one, now it's time for something new. You can't stand still. Please just be grateful for what you have had. Now there are many good things in store for you in life. They may not be apparent but just wait and see. Look for the good and your life will blossom.
Remember, kicking your habit will affect your experience too.
You don't say what to your addiction was. However with most class A drugs your sex life is likely to improve now once your body re-adjusts. Also your appreciation of so much life has to offer will increase if you let it.
Once the monkey is off your back you can look forward to a fresh start.
Good luck. Keep strong. You have taken the right decision.
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