A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I can't seem to get turned on! I'm still virgin, but have tried fingering myself/rubbing and it does nothing! My boyfriend tried, I still feel nothing! It feels a bit nice, but nice is all it is, he could be doing it to me and I could just lay there in silence! I'm really worried that I won't ever be able to get turned on, I've tried EVERYTHING! I'm 17. Any advice would be much appreciated.
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male
reader, PHOBIA MAN +, writes (5 January 2009):
ref the anon 'porn' suggestion, leave that for some time until you are comfortable with your bodily reaction, tis a bit too 'all guns blazin'ask yourself "am i ok to allow myself to have sexual pleasure" and just tune in to weather you are feeling that it's taboo to have sex and pleasure, have you been influenced by religion parents etc if this may be the case, talk to someone to smooth this out, people are often effected by guilty feelings put there by parents or religous leaders (just a thought!)I feel you have not tried quite everything just many things, I like the word YET, use it to describe your present situation "I can't seem to get turned on, YET"If you are worrying about anything while having sex, then this is a passion killer. Give yourself pemission to be pleasured by your lover, teach him, laugh with him, be a sassy minx and let the best sexual organ (the mind)play and frollick, sex and laughter is a worry killer, tickle him, find a place on his penis that he goes mad if you caress it, delight in this power you have over him (in a nice way)do some role play, a nurse, a strict teacher. play play play!!!!!!answer the door in a coat and naked underneath, or better still meet him from work, in coat and just stockings etc (tell him when you walk along with him "I'm naked underneath this coat). give him phone sex and tell him he can masterbate during it because you will be (if you are not sure what to say just describe what you are wearing "by the way i'm wearing my stockings and I want you to imagine me in them) etc etccall a sex line and ask the girl for some tips on what to say she'll be glad to!when YOU are ready to have full sex (No rush!!!) take contaception seriously EVERY TIME, even semen on his hand then inside you can get you pregnant.and most of all RELAX because it's not your body tha gets turned on, it's the mind, so EXCITE IT, I think you know, don't you, HMMM?
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (18 November 2008):
 At 17 alot of girls and guys alike are not completely in touch with their own feelings about their bodies. Perhaps you just aren't ready for the sexual act itself. Take your time and learn your own body. Hormones are present already, so there is no need to worry. Different things can make you feel more or less turned on.
The fact it is your first real experience could mean that you are extremely tense and unsure about what to do. Sexual tension can cause you to be so focused on doing it right that you can't really foucus on what you are feeling or supposed to feel. It sometimes takes alot more than a little kissing or touching to make the total connection from the mind to your sensual parts. Some people need a connection from the heart to their mind where it then travels to the sensual areas of the body.
Patience and gentleness go a long way in promoting good feelings. By taking the time to experiment with ones own body and with your partner you will soon find out what works for you. Foreplay is a big part of the sensual touching or feeling experience. This can start with kisses, or having your hair stroked gently, it can include touching of the sensitive areas of the body, fingertips gently carressing. For each person it can different. Learn your own body and allow yourself time to move on at your own pace. Don't be afriad. When the time comes, it's pure nature, it will happen.
*Just a note..waiting is sometimes the best cure for the tense feeling of not being turned on. :) Good things come to those who wait.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): Maybe you need to be in a dark room. Maybe you are self conscious of your body. Take off all your clothes and lay on the bed leaving your legs dangling from the knee down. Spread your legs wide and then have your bofriend to come in and kneel between your legs and gently touch your private area. Then have him to gently lick the inner portion of your thighs and then slowly lick closer to the vaginal and clitoris area and with that slowly inserting one to two fingers into your vagina and rubbing the inside until you feel the spot that turns you on. Meanwhile he would still be licking on your clitoris and areas around your vagina. I think you will be surprised.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): In all seriousness, have u tried watching porn? Buying a vibrator? Dirty novels? Id try all of these, maybe all at once lol. Good luck :)
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