A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend's fallen out with me and won't talk to me properly and I was wondering if anybody could offer me some advice. I'm disabled and really can't perform in the bedroom... my ex-girlfriend saw other guys on the side for that so there was no problem there. But I can't bear the thought of my current girlfriend with anybody else. I love her so much. She's not the sort of person who'd go with other men any way... but I can see her leaving me if she knew I won't be able to satisfy her. Yesterday she came onto me and basically told me she wanted us to have sex. I pushed her away and she got quite upset about it. I know I should've told her right then it was nothing to do with her but now she seems to think she's done something wrong and she won't talk to me properly.I don't know if I should just leave it as it is now and call it a day? Or to try and explain to her that I'd like an open relationship type thing? I can't tell her that I can't make love to her... it's just too embarassing.
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disabled, ex girlfriend, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Plain Jane  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 I am exactly at your girlfriend's situation ! I have been waiting for him for 3 years and I knew he's got sexual problem from his ex girlfriend big mouth ( Thanks to her anyway ) .... I have confessed to him and have made clearly to him that I don't mind bout his sexual disabilities. Please tell her and if she really loves you, she'll stay with you forever. Otherwise both of you will be mentally like me. My best wishes to both of you~~~
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): two words: sex toysBefore you decide to give her up, tell her the truth and let HER decide. She has the right to know.Maybe you'd rather be thought a cold, distant, jerk than be embarrassed. But in the first case you'll be alone, in the second you have a shot at happiness. You may be surprised at how creative your girlfriend might get once she knows the constraints. Some ladies like a challenge!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008): I haven't got much use in my legs and I get a lot of really agonising pain in my back. I've got metal plates in my arm as well which cause me a lot of agro. I know there are people worse off than me though. I know I could do other things but I suppose I just wanted to do what she wanted. I feel totally useless most of the time. I promised her I'd take her out for her birthday but she ended up spending her birthday looking after me because I wasn't well. She's done a lot for me. I can't image it would've been a long relationship anyway because she deserves better.
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A
female
reader, ariad  +, writes (11 June 2008):
 Tell her the truth.
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A
female
reader, misfitschik66  +, writes (11 June 2008):
 there are other ways to please your woman.. your mouth tongue hands fingers toys (if it has something to do with your penis that it)
if she cares about you, you should let her know the truth and dido if you care about her she deserves the truth
tell her why and explain that you two can try other ways to make love without "using your penis" if thats whats cousing the problem
like other posters said we could help more if there was more detail in what your disability is
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008): I suggest if you want a permanent relationship, you be honest, and there is numerous ways you can stimulate and keep a woman satisfied. You have hands, a tongue and ....
I think the most important is for you and your partner to be honest about the situation, and then discover the pleasures that are available.
Enjoy!
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (11 June 2008):
 She deserves the truth and so do you.
You should also stop thinking with your penis.
I find it hard to believe you can't satisfy a woman sexually because you are disabled without her realizing this.
If you can move your tongue, you can satisfy her.
Lots of people have to deal with this kind of trouble and far worse. They manage, so grow up and just accept that this is the way things are and tell her the truth.
She might be shocked/suprised at first but then perhaps you two can make things work. Others do.
You ex might have given you some bad ideas about how people can be together. She was a bitch and you need to get over that and try not to let shame control your life.
Don't ruin this.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (11 June 2008):
 Hun What is your disability? The reason why I ask is that having a disabilty shouldn't neccessary affect your sexual performance unless you suffer from impotence. Please give me more info pls. xxxx
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