A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi!This is sorta a personal issue, but please help me ): sorry if its tmi!I'm an 18 year old female who had sex for the first time last month. I've read and understand that some women don't orgasm the first five or six times they have intercourse, but i'm still a bit worried. (i've only had sex about 5 times)I'm in an LDR with someone that I only get to see for two weeks every few months, and the next time I see him, I want to be able to orgasm! I think its partially my fault for masturbating an odd way too. I always get off by putting my thighs together, and rubbing with my hand, so I thought that maybe that was the reason it was hard for me to orgasm with my legs spread! I try to experiment and stick my fingers in, and it feels good, but i never get that feeling that i'm about to orgasm. When my bf fingered me, it felt insanely great, but never more than that! Same with actual sex.Do you have any tips that will help me? Im trying really hard to orgasm with my legs spread apart and fingering but it's just not happening. ): is it normal to have so much trouble? will this problem go away as i grow older?
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (23 January 2012):
 Yes it is normal that many women have better stimulation with legs closer together. This is not well understood. It is quite possible, though perhaps a bit more difficult for the guy, to have intercourse by closing your legs together. It basically requires a little more penis length that average (which is about five inches). He will not be able to penetrate as deeply, but it better stimulates the vulva and clitoris. I have written about this technique in previous postings. In such situations, once you orgasm, then you can spread if that is what the man needs to finish. For many women, this works very well.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (22 January 2012):
 It's not most women don't have them the first few times they have sex, most women never have an orgasm during intercourse (75% never do). There's nothing wrong with how you're masturbating, if that's what you gets you off, that's what gets you off. Your vagina is at best an erogenous zone. So sticking in a penis or finger can feel nice but is highly unlikely to give you an orgasm. Your orgasm button is your clitoris. Even when women have orgasms during intercourse it's because they had clitoral stimulation indirectly. I compare it to asking a guy to get off by rubbing his scrotum. Would feel good, but almost certainly not get him off. Would you ever expect a guy to get off with stimulating his penis? Then you shouldn't expect a woman to get off without stimulating her clitoris.
You should teach him how to touch you during fingering to give you an orgasm, or you can add in your fingers during sex. Intercourse can feel good, but it's really not the best way for women to be having orgasms. Have you tried asking him to give you oral sex?
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (22 January 2012):
I will tell you this, it would help to have sex regularly. If you are getting it sporadically in an LDR, well...........
Maybe you want to have your bfs hand there instead of yours the next time, doing your unusual technique.
You may want to try other positions.
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