A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:First, I apologize for even asking this question because it's really weird. But here goes....I'm in grad school where everyone is either already in a serious relationship or married. So the chances of meeting someone is slim to none. As a last resort, I decided to give online dating a try. I figured there was nothing really wrong with it. I mean, it's just another way of meeting guys and expanding outside of my social circle. It's no different than meeting someone at a bar or through friends. I used pof and eharmony. And actually met a really nice guy. With pof, I never used my picture because it's a public site, anyone can see me on there and I wasn't ready for that. But with eharmony, I posted a pic because only my matches would see it, so there's no harm in that. I met two guys in person from that site and I really liked one of them. Problem is, I still live at home because it's cheaper and close to campus. The downside is that I have no freedom. Even though I'm 23, my parents still watch my every move, wait for me to get home, give me curfews, i have to call them if I'm even a minute late, you get the picture.Recently my mom accused me of using online dating, which I am. I have no idea how she found out. Maybe she read my diary, or someone recognized my pic and passed the word on to her. But it was really embarrassing for me and i refused to admit to doing it because she made it seem like such a negative thing. It's to the point where i can't go out without her questioning everything and anything. It's so frustrating to me. I don't know how to deal with her and her questioning and I'm literally scared to leave the house cause I don't want to deal with her. Any suggestions on how to handle this situation?PS - Moving out now is not an option. But I will be moving out in May. Not paying rent is not worth all this
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): In one way it's nice your parents want to protect you, but this is too much and I am glad for you that your are moving out. Watch you don't go to an extreme and get into any trouble, because the freedom could go to your head.
In the meantime, you need to try and stand up to your mother, as you are an adult now, and ask her to stop treating you like a child. Explain how it feels to be on the receiving end, as she is probably acting from the best motives, taking an example maybe from how her parents were with her.
Try to keep a good relationship with your parents, while asserting yourself and getting to lead your own life. It isn't easy, but it will be good to have them on your side, for all sorts of reasons.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): ha! I was in your situation at the age of 20... it's time to tell the parents who is the boss of you. God, I hate it when parents are like that... reading your post brought back memories, I'm 28 now and thank god I had the guts to move out when I did... I thank myself to this day because it truly can be a lifetime scarring ego-shattering thing to not have the guts you need to have, to stand up to your parents when you need to... do it now, girl, don't wait until May, nothing is worth the indignity you've already been subjected to...
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A
male
reader, advisorX  +, writes (5 December 2010):
 Youre old enough to have a date but since youre living with your parents, you are bound under their rules. Its either you talk to them about dating out since youre at the right age or living out in your own. I believe your parents will understand your situation. You only need to have guts to tell them what you want to do.
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