A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and this girl have been dating for over a year and I can say for a fact that we are both in love with each other and we always will love each other. We've never cheated on each other. Here recently in the relationship, we haven't been able to see each other as much because we just haven't had time and we haven't been talking on the phone like normal, once again because we are both very busy. She said that not getting to see me or talk to me was killing her, so we agreed to take a break (and not see anyone) until we have more time to spend with each other. I just don't understand this really. Not seeing each other as much is better than not seeing each other at all. If we both love each other, then we should be together, should we not? . We both can't quit thinking about each other, I know this because she had told me this and God knows she has been in my head every day since we agreed to take a break. She said that if we do get any free time during this break though, that we can hang out just as friends...once again I just don't understand this. She said that I didn't do anything wrong, and she didn't do anything wrong either. We are just busy...but I don't want to miss anything in this girls life while we are taking a break, I still have feelings for her and love her very much. And she feels the same way...
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male
reader, crosss129 +, writes (10 November 2011):
I am in a very similar situation with a few tweaks to the facts. Putting my situation into the context of yours, I would probably be your girl friend. I am at the tail end of a 3 week break with my BF. Before the break, we would see eachother on weekends, but not every weekend. Frankly, it was difficult for me, because I am 23, and I have my career that means alot to me, and then my youth which also means alot to me, and I wanted my time to go out and be with friends and have fun. It seemed like after being in a relationship for over a year, I wasnt having as much fun with my BF so I always wanted to be with my friends instead. Now that I am at the end of this break, I am very seriously considering ending my relationship, as I just have too much else going on in my life, and I cant give him the time he and our relationship deserves, and focus on my own life and career and other personal issues. Its incredibly hard because I do love him, and I know, just like you know, that your partner loves you back. But sometimes, fast occuring love can fizzle for one party, and continue to burn strong for the other party, and that is when you end up in a situation like you and I are in. While she still loves you, it seems like she may just not want to be in a committed, serious relationship with you, which is why she pushed for a break versus breaking up with you altogether...she loves you and didnt want to hurt you. Thats respectable and admirable, but it may not be enough to sustain a lasting relationship. I hope my thoughts help or shed some light. What I would want someone to tell my BF is to be strong and have faith that if something is meant to be, it will always find a way. Good Luck
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 October 2011):
 Please remember.... "always" is an AWFULLY long time!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2011): I think she does still love you, because I don't think she would bother saying she thinks about you everyday if she has lost the feeling and just wanted to get rid of you.
You'll know in your gut feeling whether she does love you, but I do think she is trying to get over you.
It is obviously difficult for her to cope with just seeing the guy she loves now and then and also depending on why she is busy, with work, study, family whatever, maybe she just has a lot going on in her life and while she loves you, she is being the realistic one in the relationship and saying that its just bad timing.
Because with you being busy too maybe she is free when you are not and vice versa. This can be frustrating especially if you really love someone and you just want to be with them. All you can do is say to her what you have said here on this site and make a real effort to spend time together.
If she still refuses then she has made up her mind and you will need to accept that and continue with what you are doing.
Good Luck.x
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 October 2011):
 "She said that not getting to see me or talk to me was killing her, so we agreed to take a break (and not see anyone) until we have more time to spend with each other."
HUH? this is very counter-intuitive to me. IF you can't stand to not be together why aren't you guys doing everything in your power to spend more time together instead of being totally apart?
"hang out just as friends"
oh dear I have really bad news for you... sadly YOU may love her but it sounds to me like she's moving away from loving you...
she's weaning you off of her with words.. and actions.. taking the chicken way out to break up with you...
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 October 2011):
 You guys are still trying to figure out what works. She is assuming that hanging out as just friends won't make her miss you as much. There is a saying out of sight out of mind. However it's going to be hard when feelings are strong and you know things would continue in the future. When I was just friends (his idea) during an off period with my boyfriend I wore a pretty blue dress and he couldn't keep his hands off me. I obviously didn't mind. You have to take it one day at a time. At the end you have to tell her it's okay to miss each other and time apart won't really kill her.
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