A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I bumped into an ex-boyfriend a couple of days ago and I can't get him out of my head, I just want to see him again. However, I'm in a serious six year relationship with a wonderful and caring person who I do love. I just don't understand why I'm feeling this way and it just seems to be getting worse to the point where I'm starting to doubt my feelings for my current boyfriend. Should I discuss this problem with him or should I just leave it and hopefully let time make these feelings go away? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (23 June 2007):
 You'd be making a huge mistake if you act on this. Feelings are one thing but reality is another. What does anybody stand to gain from this? As usual, you've taken a step in the wrong direction, as people often do. The good news is you realize already. If you act on the feelings by convincing yourself it's OK to be around this other guy, you're a cheater. If you have the feelings but don't act on them, you're one of the rest of us. Feelings are NORMAL, cheating isn't. It's common but not to be respected.
Should you discuss this with who? Your old boyfriend or the current one. Neither is the answer. If you talk to the old one, you're disrespecting the new one. You'd be giving him a signal that you're in a weak spot and tempting him to say whatever he needs to say to get you in bed. And, as a man, he probably do it.
If you talk to the new one, you'll be giving him cause to worry. You need to talk to him about keeping things fun in the relationship. He doesn't need to know specifics about who you're lusting after. This will happen again and again, they're only feelings. If you mention it to him, every time you meet a hot guy, you'll damage his idea of how he measures up in your eyes.
Lastly, you said your current boyfriend is.....a wonderful, caring person who you love.......what part of that am I not understanding? Dissect what you said and you'll see it makes no sense to go down the wrong road.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (23 June 2007):
 I would try and get him out of your head. Six years is a long time to be with your guy and if you truly love him then chasing your ex wouldn't be fair. It is hard when you see an ex.
I've been with my guy 3ish years and we are very happy. After coming out of the second scan for our baby the other week we were walking through town and my ex was walking towards us. If I had been on my own I probably would of said hey, but luckily because my guy was there I didn't. I had moved in with my ex and found out he was cheating on me and had been for like 6 months.
I don't know the circumstances of why you and your ex split up but there is a reason he is your ex and heading down a road that would lead to talking to him may open a can of worms which could leave your current relationship a mess. I wouldn't go back to my ex but seeing him brought back some old feelings and I don't think it is fair on my current partner to have these feelings there.
Good Luck!
xxxxxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (23 June 2007):
 Think about what you feel to your ex.
It sounds to me like this is a crush.
Why should you break a real Commitment for past and a crush?
You are in "relationship with a wonderful and caring person".
As these are your own words, probably you should know better.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (23 June 2007):
 Just leave. If you love your current boyfriend, that's the right thing to do.If, with time, you feel you cannot love your current boyfriends, then leave him.Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): Why is he your ex again??? Exactly! Why have you been with your boyfriend for 6 years??? Exactly! Nuff said!
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