A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend but i don't know if i made the right decision.I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 and a half years. He is the most amazing person and i feel truly lucky to have met and been with him. For the first three years we had to deal with a lot of long distance, the most being 8 months without seeing each other: he lives on the otherside of the world from me, but we've always survived it. Then last year i went to live with him for the entire year. when my visa was up i had to come home again and i could see we maybe only had a few options for how we could stay together. I got paranoid when i suspected he may propose and the thought of marriage freaked me out a lot. Around the same time i started a new job and met someone who changed my perspective on everything. i hate to admit it but i couldn't control myself and had an affair with him. But i told myself it was just a fling and that when my boyfriend came over to visit the affair would end. except when he came over i just didn't feel the same and when he did propose i ended up breaking up with him. I'm now seeing the other guy and it's all going ok but i can't stop thinking about my ex and how wonderful a person he was. Even though i feel i made the right but difficult choice to end things i can't deny the fact that i want to want to be with him rather than the guy i'm seening now.Am i being blinded by sex? i've only slept with these two guys and the sex i'm having now doesn't even compare to what i had with my ex.I'm really confused. any advice please?
View related questions:
affair, broke up, long distance, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (10 May 2007):
 In a lot of countries there is an option to live together as a couple without getting married and still receive a permit to work and stay in that country. However, this is hardly the point now.
Moving to another country can be really exciting, and you seem to have been very fond of your ex-boyfriend. But were you ready to give up your family and friends in your homeland? Maybe that's what made you panic and not the idea of him proposing?
Imagine that sex wouldn't be an issue, would you still want to leave your current boyfriend? The bedroom activities can always be improved with a bit of imagination. Maybe you just need to tell him what you need in order to get more out of it?
Maybe none of these two gentlemen are right for you? If these are the only two people you've been with, and you don't have strong feelings for your current boyfriend, maybe you should see what else is out there in the world for you?
|
