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male
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anonymous
writes: So here it is. I have been hanging out with this girl for about almost two months. About three months ago, she got out of a year and a half relationship. So I figured I should wait a while before I ask her to me my girlfriend. Well coming up after two months of hanging out, I decided to finally ask her to be my girlfriend. Anyways, when I asked her in a pretty romantic time and place, she didnt really answer. First I didn't know what was going on, then I told her it was alright to say "no" but she didnt want to say that. So about fifteen minutes later, after talking about it, she really couldnt give me a answer or a reason. Finally she said yes let's do it. By then I figured she it was all for the wrong reasons. So I told her no. Everything is still good, were still going to hang out and all, but I was just wondering what should I do. Should I wait to ask her out again, or what? Please help, I am really confused on what to do. PS We are both 19 just to let you know, so still young. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (9 June 2006):
 It is more than likely that her hesitation was caused by the fear of another committed relationship so soon after the breakdown of her last one. A year and a half is a long time and obviously it was a significant relationship in her life and maybe first one. I am curious as to what you think her wrong reasons were but I wonder if you said no because you were expecting a more emphatic answer and the fact that she couldnt give one made you feel a little uneasy and less secure.
Having said all that you do have to bear in mind she didnt want to say no and that is a good sign and probably makes it fair to assume she is interested. I think your idea to give it a little more time is a good one. Give her time to adjust to the idea and get more comfortable with it and go with the flow. Hope that helps.
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female
reader, sibaan +, writes (9 June 2006):
 give her a bit of space but keep hanging out. things should just happen naturally, wait till she starts needing you and then ask.
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