A
male
age
51-59,
*hameem
writes:Hello,I'm quite desperate. The fact is that I am in love with a colleague.We share quite a close relationship.We use to speak about our personal problems. In fact she is trying to get over a love affair and she does agree that I helped her a lot in getting over this. Lately I asked her whether I can offer her a gift for Valentine and I was suprised when she said NO. I asked her why and the answer was that for her Valentine is for lovers and this is not our case. I then asked her how she sees me. She answered plainly as a friend. I know maybe I was wrong thinking she loves me.Maybe she replied so because on that particular day I asked her, she was very down. But I could feel it that when we are together she has some feelings for me. But maybe I'm wrong. Anyway I'm quite desperate and this situation is really affecting my private and professional life. If i did not really care and love her I would have forgot about what she told me but I can't forget my love for her.Can anyone please give me any advise about this situation.Thanks, Shameem
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Shameem +, writes (27 January 2007):
Shameem is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello CD and Carrie:)
Thanks a lot for your reply. i really appreciate. Obviously both of you are right. I think I asked her the question a bit to early and maybe at the wrong time. But one thing is sure I got it clear how she sees me up to now. Maybe things will change in the future maybe not but I made up my mind not to expect anything concrete from her from now on.
Thanks both of you again.
Cheers
Shameem
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (27 January 2007):
 I think she's made her feelings perfectly clear sorry. She wants to be your friend but nothing else. Unrequited love is always hard but you need to know that nothing will ever happen and come to terms with that fact.
CD
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A
female
reader, CarrieMagdelene  +, writes (27 January 2007):
 Perhaps your lady friend is afraid of being in love again, since you mentioned her trying to get over her previous one. As said on Titanic, a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. A lot of girls are very afraid of being hurt again, and they lock themselves away. It's sad, but it's true. :( Give her time and keep comforting her. Perhaps she'll come around.
Also, as a note, don't ask a girl if she'd accept a gift. Surprize her. My boyfriend finally got the hint: 'I noticed when you don't know I'm getting you something, you look really happy and you actually accept it...Why don't you like me asking you what you want?'
Answer: Girls don't know what they want half the time. When we get a surprize necklace, HECK YES WE WANT IT! But if we know you're buying it for us, we don't. Not that this is a hint to rush out and buy her a necklace, though. She said she didn't want it, so don't push her to take it. :)
-Carrie
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