A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay i'm 16 and one of my closest friends is only 14. I have known her most of my life and we have always ben very very close and she always comes to me when she has a problem.However recently she has just broken up with her boyfriend, and is still recovering quite badly. She has been very upset and often comes and cries to me about it.The problem is i am worried she is starting to fall for me, and because we have always been so close and with her break up, she keeps coming and wanting my arms around her, hugging and kissing me (just on the cheek) more than usual.I love her to pieces, and it breaks my heart to see her upset. But IF she does have feelings for me, i dont know what to do as i dont feel the same way about her. Also i am really worried about letting her down as she will not only feel rejected by her boyfriend but also by me, her best mate.Any advice would be much appreciated, thanks.
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female
reader, Lillibeth +, writes (28 August 2007):
Hey, I wouldn't worry about it at the moment.The hugging etc could just be a need for affection, especially if she's just split from her boyfriend. She'll be lacking any usual affection suddenly and is instead seeking it from her best friend and imo, rightly so. I wouldn't panic that she's 'falling for you' just yet because as she gets over her ex she could back off a little, she might not even realise she's doing it.However, if she is developing feelings for you and she mentions it or comes onto you, you should just be honest, let her know you still love her as a friend, care about her but can't have a relationship. It wouldn't be fair to let it drag on as she'll only feel more hurt. Hope this helps.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): Just tell her the truth when it comes too that. She's only 14 so don't go there even if you do like her
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A
female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (28 August 2007):
 honey she would feel so much more hurt if you do not be honest with her friendships crave honesty along with feeling rejected she is also going to feel insecure,unloved,unattractive,confused,upset and so on your her best friend there is no suprise that she is becoming more friendly with you if you are worried about it talk to her but reassure her that you do think shes beautiful and there are other guys out there for her you could even set her up with someone you feel would treat her with the love and attention she deserves bless her shes so young to due to this she is going to be feeling more emotional than people your age relationship wise as we grow older it becomes easier to deal with pain and it is not something you can protect her from she has to endure it in order to grow as a person.you could even set boundaries so she does not become confused and to stop you feeling uncomfortable with it all but to add to that honey make sure you dont return her feelings if you do good for you you have alredy expressed that you do not feel the same way but make sure of that otherwise you will be causing more pain support her remain loyal to her and assert yourself at the same time it may seem hard but lifes a learning experiance and this is just yours x love x
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (28 August 2007):
 All you can be is totally honest here and tell her that all you can ever be with her is best mates.
Its better to tell her the truth than to lead her on and give her false hope.
tell her you value her friendship a great deal and never want to lose her as a best friend.
But cross that bridge when you come to it, she may very well be just showing best friend gestures and seeking comfort to help her through her break up.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): She could be hugging you because of the break up, but if she does then try having talk by casualy saying if you ever went out it would ruin your freindship or try telling her straight not into her that way and saying how good mate she is! x
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