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I am worried about my wife going to a wild hen do with male strippers

Tagged as: Cheating, Friends, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 January 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 31 January 2010)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

One of my wife's best friends other girlfriend (not a friend of ours) got engaged then married this past summer. My wife's friend told her (and she then told me) that the bachelorette party was way out of this world. It was held at a private club with male strippers and drinking and party games. It supposedly got real wild with the guys totally nude and girls licking whipped cream off their bodies. I don't know if there was any actual sexual contact or not, but I assume there probably was some fooling around.

Here's the thing, my wife's friend got engaged over Christmas, and getting married next summer. My wife is one of the bridesmaids, or I guess a bridematron since she's married. Her friend is talking about having a bachelorette party at the same place with the same company prividing stippers, drinks, etc.

I'm a little uncomfortable with my wife around other naked guys and 'maybe' licking whipped cream off their bodies, but I do trust my wife not to take it too far. The thing is, my wife just told me that she is very uncomfortable about going to such an event and how can she get out of going to it being a bridesmatron and all. Any ideas? Should she just go and sit in the corner? I think she should go and enjoy herself (up to a limit). Or should she make up an excuse and not go? Or just tell her friend that she is married and uncomfortable with the whole idea? Thanks for your help.

View related questions: best friend, christmas, engaged, stripper

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (31 January 2010):

Miamine agony auntThe questions was answered Mr. anonymous, him and his wife share the same morals, they both don't like this type of thing.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010):

Oh, I'm sorry I thought this was a realtionship question. I did not realize it was a question of womens rights... I would not agree with a man going to an event such as this if the roles were reversed .. Nothing to do with gender, just morals.

Why go to something like this, its fun do drink and do foolish things? That has costed many people the very thing they love the most.. Thier husband or wife..

A female reader, Miamine +, writes (30 January 2010):

"Nothing good can come from your wife attending this, drinking and strippers sounds like TROUBLE. I wouldn't want my wife attending something like this either.. I also wouldn't count on her being able to leave when the party starts, that is a lot to expect from her when she is there with her friends and had a drink or two..

If you don't want trouble in your relationship, don't invite it in with these types of events." (Quote)

WOW!!!! In the 21st century can men really still treat a woman like a child and tell her where she's allowed to go and what she's allowed to see? You must come from one of them countries where women are lacking in legal rights and equality.

Male strippers are common in the UK, and they are usually lots of fun, and men trust their women to go, as there is no sex involved. But your from the USA, and it sounds like things are different there.... Oral sex on a stripper, WOW, we don't have things like that, people would be sent quickly to jail.

The thing is, your wife doesn't want to go, and you support her choice. Now the thing to do is find some excuse. People tell me the truth usually works, so tell the bridal party that neither your wife or you feel comfortable about entertainments involving strippers.(Quote)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010):

Look... we men have our strippers at our stag nights. Its a tradition and woe betide any woman who gets in the way of that.

Let her have her fun. Let her enjoy her show. Let her and her friends send off this bride's singledom with some crazy shenanigans, like ever other person has done since the beginning of time.

Its one night. Surely the love and trust you built up can survive a goddamn bachelorette party. If it can't than it was never going to work, no matter how hard you try.

Stop being such a pussy, and get over it.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (30 January 2010):

Miamine agony aunt"Nothing good can come from your wife attending this, drinking and strippers sounds like TROUBLE. I wouldn't want my wife attending something like this either.. I also wouldn't count on her being able to leave when the party starts, that is a lot to expect from her when she is there with her friends and had a drink or two..

If you don't want trouble in your relationship, don't invite it in with these types of events." (Quote)

WOW!!!! In the 21st century can men really still treat a woman like a child and tell her where she's allowed to go and what she's allowed to see? You must come from one of them countries where women are lacking in legal rights and equality.

Male strippers are common in the UK, and they are usually lots of fun, and men trust their women to go, as there is no sex involved. But your from the USA, and it sounds like things are different there.... Oral sex on a stripper, WOW, we don't have things like that, people would be sent quickly to jail.

The thing is, your wife doesn't want to go, and you support her choice. Now the thing to do is find some excuse. People tell me the truth usually works, so tell the bridal party that neither your wife or you feel comfortable about entertainments involving strippers.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010):

Nothing good can come from your wife attending this, drinking and strippers sounds like TROUBLE. I wouldn't want my wife attending something like this either.. I also wouldn't count on her being able to leave when the party starts, that is a lot to expect from her when she is there with her friends and had a drink or two..

If you don't want trouble in your relationship, don't invite it in with these types of events..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010):

I'm sure I don't have to tell you that alcohol loosens a girl up. If there are naked guys and booze you can expect inhibitions to run screaming out the door.

My old girlfriend went to a bachelorette party in a private club like that. She said that she did not like those kinds of places because they make her uncomfortable. What a load of bull.

She went. About 2 days after the party I got a load of digital photos sent to my email from another girl at the party. My girl was giving oral to 3 different strippers and even had sex with two of the strippers on a table in front of everyone. And I didn't even see a condom being used!! In the photos she looked like she was having a blast.

When I confronted her with that she cried and said she was so sorry and embarassed because she only did that because she was drunk.

Personally I think she should pretend to go home sick from work early (if she works) before the party. Then she can claim that she has a stomach flu and caoont go to the party, that is if she really wants to get out of going.

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A male reader, redsox29 United States +, writes (29 January 2010):

Your wife sounds like a great girl. If she is uncomfortable with it then she can tell the bride-to-be that she can make an appearance but once the strippers come or she starts to feel uncomfortable, she's heading out the door. There is no reason she can't attend but not when it get's ridiculous. Shame on those other women who may be in relationships that would participate. Buy your wife some flowers and let her know how truly happy and blessed you are to have the honor of being her husband.

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