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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I find any act that is aimed to come close to me physically as being something that is a hostile move from a human being to hurt me, disturb me or harm me in some way. It is rarely a move that is aimed at showing affection / respect / love or acknowledgement of my achievements, skills or qualities as a human being and this makes me feel suspicious about motives of most people around in society and human beings in general. How do i detach myself from this unconscious behavior pattern that creates problems for me in work life. Thanks.. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Melanne  +, writes (26 May 2007):
 It sounds to me as though you've been hurt a lot in the past and any act that is physical threatens you and perhaps brings past memories up that you'd rather forget. Also when another person comes close to you their entering your space and you might want that secure and if you feel vulnerable this could threaten you.
It seems there are lots of memories buried underneath that you still have to get in touch with your feelings and people entering your space brings these memories back. Your fear of people has it's roots somewhere in your past.
You asked how you detach yourself from behavior pattern and my gut feeling tells me that you need counselling. Only through counselling can you reach the areas in your subconcious mind that you've forgotten or blocked out because they're too painful. Coming to terms with the way you feel about things that have happened to you will help you accept people as wanting to get close as a genuine reason and not that they want to hurt you. I understand this is causing many problems in your life and work life perhaps for the moment you could ask that people don't hug you, you don't have to explain why maybe just say that they're are things your dealing with at the moment in your life and you don't feel ready to explain. I really want you to seek counselling as a way of getting in touch with your hidden emotions because I feel that you have great pain inside that makes you not want to go there, but by going there then you will begin to release the pain and understand more about yourself. I hope this helps.
A
male
reader, farsight  +, writes (26 May 2007):
 You just need to learn to trust yourself and that what ever you do its what you want
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (26 May 2007):
 Make a choice. Do you want to be shut out the rest of your life, or do you want to be happy. Come out of your shell. You'll find that things are better when you let people know you.
DV1
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