| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Since my ex and I broke up, i was devastated, and I'm getting stronger but my feelings for him have changed into anger. i have not called him nor emailed, i dont even want to know that he is on the same planet as me, infact i wish i never met him. I've been keeping my distance, thinking that he'll wonder what happened to me, but my anger and hate for him has grown so much that i want to tell him off and tell him know how much he has hurt me, and how his lies have made me a serious cynic.What should I do?
View related questions:
broke up, my ex Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (13 June 2006):
 dear reader.
have you ever concidered this is not "hate" you are feeling for this guy? i know and understand you would like to hate him but there is a very thin line between love and hate and i think your just stuck somewhere in the middle.
never wish you had never met someone instead remember the good times (how ever many there were) and just put it down to experiance don't dwell on the past it will only drive you crazy so my advice to you would be to just move on and forget about all these bad feelings if he don't contact you why are you bothering?
anyway i wish you well and i hope you don't hold this feeling for too long you need to let go
all the best xxx
A
female
reader, Irish49  + ♥, writes (13 June 2006):
 You are grieving the 'end' of your relationship the 'anger' phase is part of the path to healing. Drpysch has a good suggestion. Write your feelings down in a journal and vent that way but don't say anything to your ex. Just keep developing and keep progressing throught his recovery process. I think it's important that you understand that these feelings are normal but try to keep a clear head and keep them in perspective. You are still dealing with emotional pain and here is no completion date to getting through this. But you will get through it a stronger person and sometoime down the road you'll be healed and ready to get out there and date again. Just keep loving yourself and give yourself time. Good luck, dear.
...............................
A
female
reader, ariel  +, writes (13 June 2006):
 Control your anger before it controls you.It's a completly normal and usually healthy emotion,but when it gets out of control and destructive it can lead to problems.And it can make you feel as though you're are at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.Anger can be suppressed and redirected.Express your anger and convert it into constructive behavior.When my husband had an affair I went through a range of emotions,anger was one of them.I could not express that anger as I had children to think about and did not want to upset them, so I joined a gym and did every class going - body combat was the best one as I pictured his and her face in front of me and felt much better.
Once your anger has passed you will be able to patch up that broken heart. Time does heal.
XXX
...............................
A
female
reader, DrPsych + ♥, writes (13 June 2006):
 It is not clear why you split up in the first place, but he may have moved on and may not care if he hurt you or not. Whatever he has done cannot be put right as he doesnt have a time machine. Why give him the satisfaction of knowing how much you are hurt right now, as it doesn't sound like you are trying to contact him to reconcile. Just stay away from him if you feel that negative. Instead, just write him a letter saying all the reasons why you hate him and keep it for a while so you can add extra reasons as you go along. Just keep it at home, never send it to him, and just throw it away when you feel ready to move on. It might sound daft but it really works to write down all those pent up emotions.
...............................
|
