A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi...i need help here...i met this guy about 2 years back--and i really do love him but lately hes begun making excuses to meet or get intimate--though whenever am in trouble he helps...but if i ask my close friends even they will--i want a guy to be sensitive to my needs--he has plenty of time for his friends but wont take out time for me....i keep calling him making plans to meet and he does oblige but sparingly.....he is great in bed and fun to be with--he is also very possessive of me but it seems to me he wants to control the relationship---i do not know what to do--i have communicated to him many times not to take me for granted but he does not listen...i want to be valued and respected--there are days when he says hes very busy and will ignore me for 2-3 days--i dont understand--in 24 hours cant u take out time to talk for 2 min to someone you love ? sometimes he gives me signals he wants to marry me--he has taken me home to meet his mom and all his friends--and sometimes he acts so weird and wants his independence…..today he told me he does not ever want to marry me as he does not want a divorce from his wife—he says he wants to be a free bird and will meet me when he takes care of all his many problems..yet he takes out time to be with friends...please help--i want him to value me--not use me and walk over me-lately he mentioned i owed him quite a bit of money which was due..which i had been thinking he had helped as a favour—i gave him the money and hes taken it but now wants to break up the relationship blaming me for giving him the money n demeaning him..i think hes just looking for reasons to leave me and now hes found one...i am a self respecting woman so returned what did not belong to me especially since i felt hes been harbouring it in his mind....instead of respecting me for it—he has taken the money and wants to call off what we had...i am actually tired of the oly one working on this relationship while he sits back and only responds when i reach out—otherwise he doesn’t feel the need to connect with me...i am transparent towards him—my cell phone—email id is all open to him but he has 5 numbers and am forbidden access to them..wonder what is he hiding...please help me..-i am 40 and dont want to look for someone else as i dont want to get into a chain of relationships--shall i end this relationship if yes--how ? and please teach me how to live alone and with dignity without a man...or shall i change myself as obviously one cant change another person....please help me
View related questions:
divorce, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 This is a relationship of convenience for him. He's not taking it as seriously as you. If a man I was in love with said: "he does not ever want to marry me as he does not want a divorce from his wife—he says he wants to be a free bird and will meet me when he takes care of all his many problems" that would be a deal breaker for me. That sentence alone tells me you are wasting your time with him. Have you seen Sex in the City? He's just not that in to you.
The secret to being alone is filling your life up with things you love doing. If you love sport join a social sport club. If you love cooking join a class if you love books join a book club. Fill your life up with stuff that makes you happy and then you don't need a man to fulfill you.
Good luck doll let us know how you are getting on.
|
