A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I know i'm in love but should i tell her,i'm 43 and not getting any younger. I've known this woman for about 8 years i was instantly attracted to her as soon as i saw her and there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think about her.I really want to tell her how i feel but i'm scared of being rejected.I know she likes me and we are friends but the problem is i work at a company and shes the Director.I think though that u know when you have met that special person ,i just dont know what shes thinking ,we have both been through a divorce and she is still single and i am too.I dont want to go through the rest of my life with the regret that i never told her i love her.Please Help
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): Wow, in 8 years if there was ANY attraction on her part don't you think that she'd have made some kind of jester?
You need to wait until she's no longer in your chain of command, and then visit with her to see if she'd like to do something socially. You're playing with some serious fire otherwise. If you don't want to change jobs, and then wait- odds are good, if you act on this, you WILL be changing jobs... just not on your terms.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): I think if you start out telling her you love her, she will be a little freaked out.
You wouldn't be the first couple who met at work, she may not be able to date you without one of you losing your job since it sounds like you are one of her direct reports. If she owned the company that would be one thing.
I guess you have to decide if love is worth the risk of career loss? If you think there is a chance she feels the same way though, I understand how you feel and that you don't want to let anything get in the way of your chance for love and happiness.
Why don't you ask her when no one is around if she could have dinner with you some night after work and if she accepts and things get a little cozy, tell her how you feel about her (don't say love, but that you think she is a great woman and you have the utmost respect for her and you also have stronger feelings for her too and what she would think if the two of you started dating?) If she tells you no, then tell her that you appreciate her honesty and respect her decision and nothing will be brought up about it again.
Or you could take the more subtle romantic approach and just flirt your ass off with her at dinner and see if she doesn't start chasing you...then have an adult conversation at some point.
Good Luck, I hope you get what you want.
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