A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Past few months I have started talking to my ex again and have become good friends. However, he has a girlfriend and basically, she is not nice and has in the past been very controlling of him and has been possessive. He has mentioned to me that they have had problems and recently told me that they are going through a break up.She sent me a message online recently saying threatening comments if I ever saw him or spoke to him again. He has now cut me off contact which I'm convinced she has managed to make him do so. I have reported the message.I have no intention of replying back to her because I don't think she is worth a reply. I am not even going to try and contact my ex as he hasn't apologised to what happened. I am very shaken by this but I find immature behaviour totally unacceptable.Am I right to make this decision? And is there anything else I should do?
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a break, has a girlfriend, immature, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): I can undrstand whr ur coming frm. If u two really are friends now then u shldnt hold what she says against him. Hes probley tryn to do the relationship thng and its kinda normal for girls to b upset whn thr guy tlks to ex... She kinda sounds like a drama queen... But she makes since.. He does have the right to give his newgirl the best relationship he can build.. Even tho his best is choosin to hind the fact that he enjoys ur friendship. Ur gona half to get used to it cus if they split the next girl mite nt like u eithr, u r an ex. Plus ud want him to respect ur relationships with any guy whos too insecure to handle ur ex around.. Thats what friends do!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): The best thing that You done was not replying to this lady's message. The next thing You have to do and most importantly is to move on with Your own life. Forget about Your ex and this lady. Even though it hurt's, that will pass with time. Give Your self a chance and perhaps You will meet somebody new.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Kudos to you for making a smart move, and not replying back to her petty drama. It's obvious she feels threatened by you being friends with him. Hence why she's being so nasty towards you. I don't agree with your ex bitching about his girlfriend to you, it's really not anyone's business. Almost like he's keeping you around in case things fall through with her. Tricky one, your ex.
There's nothing more you can do, if you contacted him again, I have no doubt that she will hunt you down..This one sounds like a psycho. So carry on as you are and don't get involved in your ex's business again. Especially when he tries to put you in the middle of it.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 October 2010):
 You were right to make the decision. You were right in more ways than one. Why was he your ex to begin with? That is a factor, and clearly, if she can get him to stop contact with you, they weren't about to break up. I would be wary of how much of what your ex was telling you was the truth.
Also, you absolutely don't need the drama of his girlfriend threatening you. No one is worth that. I would advise you cut off contact with both of them and find someone new that doesn't have that kind of baggage with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): I don't believe there is anything else you CAN do. He has taken take a side, and it isn't yours.
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (21 October 2010):
 I am with the new girlfriend. Back off and leave them alone. Obviously your ex is a user more than likely or he wouldn't be keeping you on a string by being your "good friend". Bull shit. There is always a sexual attraction between exex, especially on the male's part, and staying in contact with the ex is pointless. They call them exes for a reason.
He doesn't owe you an apology, his new girlfriend should be kicking his ass instead of yours, however, but that's another issue.
Move on, it's over.
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