A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:At some point into our relationship, he lost interest in me = sex. We talked and talked. Now he wants to get it (desire) back because he wants to have babies with me down the road and he loves me and he spent money on me. We spend quality time together but when time comes to have sex I feel he'd rather do something else. He says it's because I talked and talk about lack of sex so much that turns him off. He says it's his only issue with me. He does admit he passed his prime and he understands I am in mine but still I am deeply sexually so not satisfied... I love him but I am at the point where I want to remove myself from this situation.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate the link. I did check it out. I asked him and even sent him a link. He got upset with me for sending him the link and said that he rarely watches porn now.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): I hate to alarm you but your man could have a problem that is going to require some work! go to no-porn.com and read the partners forum, you will find your story there many times and it will bring some clarity to your situation!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI sent him an article about erectile dysfunction: retarded ejaculation. Well, it resonated with him.
After 10 months of talking, trying different strategies, etc., here's my summary:
He was drinking that allowed him to let go. Coincidentally when I got pregnant and had an abortion, he quit drinking. I think inability to let go when not under the influence and fear of getting me pregnant created an environment when he developed this dysfunction. To top it off he became distant although continued to love me. He turned to porn and masturbation. I became angry and frustrated. My attitude was not very attractive. Yet, I needed sex and without realizing our problem I kept pressing him for sex as I was becoming increasingly jealous and suspicious. I feel like today, I have more understanding of what happened to him. But still I am not sure is this could be fixed. I don't want to leave him but I am so depressed and seem to put my life on hold which only makes him feel like I only think about sex.
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A
male
reader, gulliver +, writes (2 December 2007):
Hey - please let me know if my advice pays off - good luck and enjoy!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you
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A
male
reader, gulliver +, writes (1 December 2007):
Woo the guy! Make him feel special like he's the only man on earth -it will come back to him and you and you will fill the void in your life. Sometimes guys feel insecure and worry that they can't perform and then that worry makes them anxious and it gets worse! Kiss and cuddle, loads of foreplay and then don't have sex! Eventually he will be so turned on that it will happen. Just do it don't talk about it!
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