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I am crushing on my married doctor. I want to tell her my feelings

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 March 2020) 7 Answers - (Newest, 13 March 2020)
A male India age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have a crush on female doctor (she is married lady) I don't know when I see her I really feel to talk to her more and more (she is already married I don't know what to do know).

Can I reveal this to her directly?. Help me.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (13 March 2020):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntSeriously? Say you went ahead and told your doctor how you felt. What do you think would happen? I suspect she would be shocked and would insist you saw a different doctor. If she did anything else, should could lose her career and her livelihood. She is not going to take that risk.

You need to learn that, just because you like something does not necessarily mean you can have it or even that it's a good idea to make your desire known. Act like an adult and look for a lady who is free to return your feelings.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2020):

Let me tell you Sir, if you even have to ask this question, You Are A Piece Of Crap! You need to grow a set, and act like an honorable man! When you KNOW that this lady is married, and you make such an inappropriate confession to this married, unsuspecting, and disinterested woman, you are just the same as a common theif and a destroyer who vandalizes sacred holdings! Two things: find a different doctor who is a male, and search inside yourself and ask, why you feel like such a self entitled punk!!! Beware The Husband Who Loves His Wife!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2020):

Stop and think. You're being impulsive! What do your feelings matter to a married-woman? She's another man's wife! Why don't you go tell her husband how you feel, and see what he thinks about it? Perhaps he would thrash some sense into you! Remember, you are in India!

Declaring your love in this instance is making a pass!

Get a hold of your over-sized sense of entitlement and arrogance! Any random female you like is not available for your unsolicited-advances!!!

Please allow me to put this bluntly and succinctly for you.

Keep your feelings to yourself. It is unethical for doctors to have anything but a professional-relationship with their patients. You are being driven by your compulsions without using reason or restraint. Making passes at a married-woman is disrespectful and inappropriate. It would be taking advantage of an intimate professional-relationship that requires her to be in close-proximity for medical-purposes. Examinations require physical-contact. Making passes at her would be opportunistic under such circumstances.

Would you do that if she were a man?

If she were your wife or girlfriend, would you appreciate other men randomly declaring their romantic-feelings for her??? Would you not be concerned and fear for her safety being alone with a guy hitting on her?

No-one in full-charge of their faculties would just arbitrarily declare their feelings for someone with no regard for the fact that the person is married and uninterested! They would first employ self-control and commonsense! Catching her off-guard, you would startle or anger her! Anger would be very appropriate! She should also be afraid of you, if you would be so bold and forward!

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!! If you can't control yourself, go find yourself another doctor. Preferably a male-doctor!

If you do decide to ignore our advice, and tell her anyway; she should throw you out of her office! Sometimes you must disrobe in-front of her. If you behave inappropriately, professional-ethics requires her to discontinue any further association with you as her patient. You could be barred from her office. Don't place her in that awkward position!

GOT IT?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2020):

Your post is very short. You don't reveal for example if she is interested in you too or if she sends any signs of interest in you other than professional interest or how old she is. I would expect she is much older than you. You have to be very careful dear poster how you tread around her or she can become very angry if she feels you are crossing the line with her. Anyway she is married and you will be making a grave mistake getting entangled with a married woman. Keep away from her and find some nice single girl to occupy your mind.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 March 2020):

Honeypie agony auntNo, she is married.

If she is your doctor, I'd suggest you switch doctors.

If you were a married man and your wife was a doctor, how would you feel if her patients declared their love for her?

It's absolutely inappropriate.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (12 March 2020):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntNo. She’s married. Leave her alone and find a new doctor.

Also, you don’t KNOW her. You only see her when you go to the doctor. That’s not a crush or love, just that you like how she looks.

Don’t reveal feelings to married women. Leave them alone.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2020):

It's your doctor - this is really inappropriate and against their code of practice and also SHE'S MARRIED! If you can't handle it GET A NEW DOCTOR.

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