A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 27 years old, mother of 2 kids. I met my husband about 8 years ago. He told me he loved me, I didn't feel like that initially but after 1 year, I felt I had met the love of my life. My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years. Everybody used to say we are the best couple and made for each other. I love him so much and he is my everything. I am very sincere to my husband. I didn't have any other close friends except him. We are like a friends not like husband and wife. We both have a good sense of humour. Life was very lovely and happy with him and with my kids. He had some affairs before our marriage. But he said he will not repeat it again after our marriage. We had some fights during that time. Recently he said he wanted to share his secrets to me. I was listening to him curiously... He said he had bed with many girls(more than 10 girls) after our marriage and he has an addiction to sex. Then he started telling his experience and personal stories explicitly. I was very much shocked and couldn't control myself. He said nothing wrong in that. Love is different and sex is difference. He is very happy with me in sex. But all these are not totally different and He cannot love anyone except me. He is very proud of having me as a wife. He is the luckiest person in the world. what is had on others is sex without love and what he has on me is sex with love and etc... Finally I asked him can you change if i forget about all these. He said he would require another 3 years to change. I am not able to accept whatever he says. I trusted his so much. But he cheated me very badly...I don't know what to do now... Just thinking about divorce now. Please suggest
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female
reader, intothewoods  +, writes (17 February 2009):
you are a very brave woman and do not give up yet for your childrens sake. your husband may have a problem with sex which is something he needs to be proving to you he is dealing with.please don't take what I am saying as a negative thing here, because it isnt. but you must be strong. you need to pull yourself through this. are you sure that your husband is the only man for you or is it you are just afraid of facing the world without him? if you are afraid of being alone you will stay with him not out of love but out of fear. And if you are afraid of being alone you will put up with anything he does to you even if it not right. and it will continue to make you myserable and make you consider these dark things. I am not doubting you love your husband, only you can do that. but please, if you do decide to stay with him, it must be out of mutual love and respect. He must prove to you that he is doing everything he can to stop the cheating, and you must know in your heart that you are not just staying because you dont want to be alone. Try not fear change. Whatever happens you will find a way to be happy. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. Chin up.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): Thank you so much for your reply.
My husband behaves very differently. Sometimes he talks very softly and worrying about all these. He says he can understand how much it will hurt me if he behaves like this. But some times he is treating me very badly and talking very rudely to me. Especially after telling his secrets his feelings are not normal.
We both are 100% different when it comes to sex. According to him love is different than sex. But for me I cannot have sex with anyone except him.
I am not able to share this with anyone since I don't have any other close friends except him. I am going mad day by day. Once I was thinking of suicide. Somehow I convinced myself by thinking about my kids and their future.
Also I love him so much. I am not able to leave him and go. If he has some psychologial problem surely I won't leave him and go. Because I know no one can take care of him like me.
Even if I go I am not very sure can I live happily without him? I am working in a software company. So I don't have any problem financially to take care of my kids.
I have lot of questions, hurts and confusions. I need someone to guide me in a right path. Also I don't know how to react in these situations.
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A
female
reader, lovesalias  +, writes (27 January 2009):
 Honey...I am sorry that this has happend to you. I would strongly advise that you both seek councel. I know that you really love him but sex is not just about the physical it is about the emotional. He has hurt you emotionally and who knows if he has gotten any sexual dieseases in his promiscuity. If you think you can forgive and forget and you truly want to be with him and make things work then you should go to marital counceling. I think perhaps a seperation will do you both some good during this trying time for you. He is being very disrespectful by having multiple affairs admiting them and expecting you to stick around another three years before he is ready to be done with them. You need to think of you and your children at this point because clearly he has disregarded any feelings you have and is going to continue pleasing himself no matter how it affects you. In the long run this can cause you a lot of emotional stress that will not only weigh on you but your children as well. Think carefully how you want to proceed with this man. I know you love him and I know its hard but you are no longer held down by your matrimonial bond. Death and Adultry releases you from those ties if you should so choose to be free. Pray to the lord. Ask him to send his angels to guide and comfort you and your children during these trying times. Although you may not think it...He hears you just ask in his name and it shall be given unto you. Good luck and God Bless! I hope this helps!
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