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I am best friends of a sort, with this girl, I give her advice, which she seems to forget, that I helped her, I feel used, should I tell her how I feel?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 August 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 21 August 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, *'m_me_123 writes:

Well I know a girl.. And apperently I'm one of her best friends, however she has 5 other best friends 2 of which r boys, she used to tell me everything but now all she does is ask for their help and is so grateful and public about the help she recieves but when I help her she just takes It and uses it ans forgets that I told her it, I'm not sure if I'm just jealous.. But its been on my mind for ages ans I dont know if I should tell her how I feel. All help is appericiated

View related questions: best friend, jealous

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A male reader, I'm_me_123 United Kingdom +, writes (21 August 2008):

I'm_me_123 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks people.. You've Been a real help. I'm going to use a bit of all of these.. To make a perfect response thanks ^-^

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A female reader, PsyCookie United States +, writes (21 August 2008):

PsyCookie agony auntYour second update changes my answer slightly, but I still stick up to what I said before. Giving an advise is for free, so don't expect anything back.

But since you say you're best friends, well, it doesn't seem that to me. She only wants to talk to you when she needs help, and that doesn't even sound like a friend to me.

So what you have to do is tell her what the hell is wrong with her for only seeking you only when she has problems. It just sounds to me like she's using you, and nobody deserves that kind of treatment. You have to set her up straight about all of this. You want to be her friend, and you have, but she hasn't been a friend to you. Tell her you're not going to be her rock when she needs you and then forget completely about you when she is all better. You're not a thing to use, you're a human being, and you deserve better for that.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008):

if shes unwilling to talk to you, then surely that means you aren't best friends

or if you still ar, ask her what's up?

XxXx

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A male reader, I'm_me_123 United Kingdom +, writes (21 August 2008):

I'm_me_123 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

A side note I didnt mention is that she doesnt always want to talk to me on Msn or at school or anything, she only does when she has to.

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A male reader, I'm_me_123 United Kingdom +, writes (21 August 2008):

I'm_me_123 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks.. Two contridicting views.. But I'm still grateful.

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A female reader, PsyCookie United States +, writes (21 August 2008):

PsyCookie agony auntI know that you like to help her, but you have to remind yourself that giving advise is a free service and you cannot expect anything from her.

Yeah, sure, you would like some praise or a good feeback, but you won't receive it all the time (or never at all), and that's what comes from doing this.

You should be happy, though, that your advise WORKED and that it changed the person in a POSITIVE way. That's the best feedback you can get. The feeling that you truelly helped someone, even when they don't address it.

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A male reader, JUZTINXCORE United States +, writes (21 August 2008):

Tell her whats on your mind. You can't let this go on forever. She'll think everything is okay when it's really not. :/ Just try to keep the conversation calm and try not to say anything out of line that would throw the conversation out of proportion.

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