A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:so this is it :my boyfriend of 6 years has put me through alot... but we have overcame and grown from these expierences,, and now we are expecting our first baby.. he has grown and changed (enough) but he is those types of people that have no will power its sad but true its like he has no backbone or something .. anyways recently he has been lookin for a job and he asked this one person he knows for work. this person is a person from his past that was with him through all those dreary days when he was heavy into drugs.. this is years ago .. so anyways he recently came in contact with this individual to ask for work and they may help him with a job. and as much as we need the money i really dont like the idea that he will work with this loser who still lives a lifestyle of f*** the world.. iam scared that he will start making dumb decisions.. i have faith in him but sometimes its so hard to trust and to imagine reliving our past issues.... is it wrong for me to feel this way? i have told him how it makes me feel .. but is it selfish and untrusting of me to feel like this or tell him not to talk to this person? one thing for sure which i have made him very aware of .. I wont put up with it this time around I have a child on the way whom i love more then anything else! help
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 October 2011):
 As long as you have made it clear to him that you will not put up with anything now that there is a child involved then that should be enough. Off course it is natural for you to worry about this, it might not be healthy for him to be in so much contact with someone from his past who was in to drugs with him. Off course you are going to be anxious and worried, and as long as you have shared this with him well then that's a start. It is really not your place to tell him he is not allowed to accept this job or be around this person because at the end of the day you don't own him, he is still his own person and needs to make his own decisions, as long as he knows where he stands with you well then I guess you just need to give him the benefit of the doubt and hope that he stays clean.
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